Evil Queens Don't Get a Happily Ever After
by In a Minute There is Time
Summary: Regina and Emma have been together for a while, but Regina has yet to give Emma a proper kiss, and Emma is sick of it. This turned out much darker than I expected.
1. Why Won't You Kiss Me?

**Disclaimer - I don't own OUAT etc.**

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**Chapter 01 - Why Won't You Kiss Me?**

"Hi," Regina jumped at the sound of a voice next to her ear, then immediately relaxed as two red leather clad arms circled her neck and a soft pair of lips made contact with the back of her head. She smiled as she felt a pointy chin gently replace the lips. "Whatcha doing?"

"Working Miss Swan," Regina leant into the backwards hug as Emma grabbed one of the papers that had Regina so engrossed that she hadn't noticed the sheriff's arrival.

"Fun," Emma deadpanned, placing the paper back onto the desk and spinning Regina's chair around so that the pair were facing each other. "I'm bored,"

"Are you just here to distract me Miss Swan?" Regina smiled indulgently at her, "Or was there an actual, work-related reason for you being here?"

"I'm bored" Emma repeated and promptly sat on Regina's lap, arms still circling her neck. She bought her right hand up to brush Regina's hair behind her ear and then started to run her fingers through the short brown locks.

"And you thought I would alleviate your boredom?" Regina raised an eyebrow and circled Emma's waist with her arms as Emma rested her head in the nape of Regina's neck.

"I thought you might be bored too," Emma peppered kisses on Regina's neck, her hand slowly travelling up and down the mayor's collar bone, "I thought we could entertain each other." She smiled devilishly at Regina and bought her mouth up to meet Regina's.

"Unfortunately," Regina abruptly pulled away before their lips met, "I have work to do, so I'm afraid you'll have to 'entertain' yourself until I finish up here." Regina kissed Emma's forehead and swatted her off of her lap. Emma frowned and got up as Regina spun herself back towards the desk. "You know you shouldn't pull that face, Henry informs me that if the wind changes whilst you do, it'll stick like that, and I would much rather a girlfriend that doesn't look like…"

"Why won't you kiss me?" Emma interrupted her. Regina closed her eyes and bit her lip before picking up her pen to resume her work.

"What do you mean?" She didn't look up as Emma circled the desk to stand in front of her, "I kiss you all the time." It was a matter-of-fact statement that was absolutely true, Regina kissed Emma. She kissed Emma's forehead, her cheek, in fact Regina had kissed Emma almost everywhere you could kiss a person. Almost.

"I mean a real kiss," Emma said, she was getting angry, finally letting out what she had been dying to say for months now, "An honest to God kiss that happens between girlfriends. A kiss on the lips." Emma clarified. Regina stayed silent, no more wanting to have this conversation than she wanted to have her wisdom teeth removed without anaesthetic. So she just kept working, hoping that Emma would simply leave in a huff. Unsurprisingly, that didn't happen.

"You kissed Graham, and you didn't even like him. Or at least that's what you told me. That he didn't mean anything to you. I thought I meant, I mean, something to you. So why have you never kissed me? It's one of the first things that's people do when they're intimate with each other, it's a way of saying you want to be intimate, of revealing your emotions, so why haven't…Is there something wrong with me?" Emma went from ranting angrily, to sounding like a kicked puppy.

"No!" Regina's head shot up in disbelief, "There is absolutely nothing wrong with you Miss Swan,"

"Then why won't you kiss me?" Emma had her arms folded and she was looking expectantly at Regina, the hurt still evident in her voice, clouded just barely by that righteous anger. Regina couldn't look at her, so instead she looked down at her papers again. "Regina? Talk to me,"

"There really isn't anything to talk about." Regina stated, hoping, like a small child hopes that he won't get caught with his hand in the cookie jar, that Emma would leave it alone.

"I think there is." Emma half shouted, the frustration that she felt over the issue steadily rising, "It isn't because you feel nothing for me, because you felt nothing for graham, I can't see why you wouldn't kiss me if you actually liked me, so it must be because you hate me, because you can't stand the thought of being that intimate with me, because I am somehow repulsive to you and there isn't anything in the world that you'd hate more, maybe you think that kissing me is beneath you, or…" Emma's voice was getting louder and louder as she reeled off reasons that she had come up with over the months of milling the question in her head, reasons that were so far from the truth that Regina wanted to cry. So, in fact, Regina did. She knew that this was coming, this whole situation was inevitable, but she had just hoped that maybe it wouldn't happen so soon.

"It's because I love you," She said, and she will never figure out how Emma heard her over all of the blonde's paranoid ranting, but she did, and that one, barely audible sentence stopped Emma dead.

"What?" Emma stood in the middle of the mayor's office, dumbstruck.

Regina took a deep breath, stood up and walked to stand in front of Emma, she took the blonde's hands in her own and pulled them around herself, then she clasped her hands onto Emma's shoulder and muttered into Emma's hair. She knew that Emma could never understand just how much of a huge deal this was for Regina, she knew that she wasn't ready for this, to admit to Emma how she felt, but she also knew that she couldn't let Emma think that she hated her, or thought she was repulsive, or any of the nasty things Emma said about herself. So she said it again. "I love you." She felt Emma squeeze her arms tight around Regina and then gently pull the mayor's head back so that they Regina could see the huge grin that was plastered on Emma's face.

"Why is that a problem?" Emma was crying now too, but the beam gave away the happiness behind the tears whilst Regina still looked devastated. How could Regina tell her that the problem with loving her is that she loved her. That her feelings for Emma were so deep that it surpassed anything she had ever felt for anyone in the world, that this, for Regina, was true love. That true love was magic. That if she kissed Emma, one of two things would happen. Either Emma truly loved her back and the curse would be broken and everyone would go back to Fairy Tale Land. Emma would find out about all of the horrible things Regina had done and then she would hate her like everybody else did, or Emma didn't love her and the curse would stay intact and everyone would stay in Storybrooke, not remembering how much they hated the Evil Queen, but hating Regina anyway. Regina's already broken heart would shatter into a million pieces and she would never get the happy ending that all of this was for. How could she tell Emma that kissing her would force Regina to lose Emma's love, or find out that she never had it in the first place, in this moment, Regina couldn't figure out which situation would break her heart more.

"It's not," Regina mumbled, clinging to Emma like a life line, knowing that whatever the outcome of what was about to happen, she would never get to hold her like this again.

"So…" Emma started, but before she could finish, and before Regina could lose her nerve, Regina's lips where on hers, desperate and loving and broken and tender and all of the things that Regina felt, all poured from her mouth into Emma's. It felt like flying, and even as Regina felt what was left of her soul falling out of her, she couldn't bring herself to feel anything but euphoric. This was the woman she loved and the thing she wanted most and she finally had it, she finally felt the happiness that she had longed for, for as long as she could remember. Right here in this moment, this was her happy ending.

But in fairy tales, the thing that no one seems to dwell on, the thing no one really cares about, the Evil Queen doesn't get a happily ever after, instead, the Evil Queen gets to dance in red-hot iron shoes until she dies. When the two women finally pulled apart, Regina's hands fell limply to her sides and she looked up towards the ceiling. Tears fell heavily down her cheeks; she could feel Emma's hands run down her arms and then their fingers entwined with one another, Emma stepped towards Regina again, gently pulling her chin down so that Regina was looking directly into Emma's eyes. Emma smiled and Regina silently waited, to find out which unhappy ending she was going to get.

When the ending came; Regina realised which she thought was worse.  
And, of course, this being a fairy tale and her being the Evil Queen; that was the one she got.


	2. She Only Calls Her Emma During Sex

**Disclaimer -****See Chapter 1**

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**Chapter 02 – She Only Calls Her Emma During Sex**

"Gina?" Emma tilted her head a frowned as Regina tugged her hands free of Emma's sharply. "You ok?" Regina was looking at Emma, but not looking at Emma. It was as though she was in a trance, not seeing or hearing anything but her own thoughts.

This was in fact true, in the moments between their kiss ending, and waiting for her answer, Regina had wished with all of her heart and soul that she would hear that familiar thundering, that this world would shatter like glass and they would wake up in Fairy Tale Land once again. But nothing happened, she'd seen how fast true loves kiss broke spells and curses, she knew it happened in an instant.

"_She doesn't love you,"_ was all Regina could hear_;_ over and over again in her head, her voice getting crueller and angrier and a little more broken each time. _"She doesn't love you. She doesn't love you. She doesn't love you. She doesn't…"_

"Regina!" Emma's slight yell and her hands on the mayor's shoulders pulled Regina back into the present. "What's going on?" Regina finally looked at Emma, for the first time since the kiss, and she smiled, all the charm and insincerity that was there when she gave Emma that apple way back when, or when she had to deal with ignorant townspeople complaining about whatever it was they were complaining about.

"Nothing dear," And she sounded so much like the Evil Queen that she wanted to cry. Truth be told she wanted to cry anyway, after one last blow to her heart, after many, she finally just wanted to let herself fall. But she'd be damned if she let anyone, especially the one person who could've caught her, see that. So she kept on smiling, and Emma started to wearily smile along with her, taking Regina's face into her hands and pulling her forward for another, sweeter, gentler kiss than before. This kiss stabbed right through Regina's gut, the hope and euphoria from the first kiss was no longer there, leaving Regina feeling nothing but bitter. "_She doesn't love you."_

"Regina," Emma whispers as they pull away, and Regina holds her breath, still hoping, nothing happens. "I…"

Regina kisses her again, she can't let Emma say it; she can't hear Emma say it. Because Regina is not sure what would happen if she did, but she knows it won't be good. So she keeps on kissing her, walks backwards with her lips still attached to Emma's until Regina is backed up against the sofa with Emma pinning her there. _"She doesn't love you."_

Emma gets the message and starts the slowly unbutton the mayors shirt, and Regina pulls Emma's white tank top out of her jeans and over her head as fast as she can manage. The force of the pull means Regina is leaning too far back, she falls backwards onto the sofa and she pulls Emma down with her.

For a second they lay there, a little shocked, but then Emma starts giggling, Regina joins in half-heartedly and Emma's giggle becomes full-blown laughter, and then they're on the floor and Emma is on top of Regina, still laughing. Regina's hands are above her head and Emma is straddling her thighs, the blonde is still giggling as she continues unbuttoning Regina's shirt.

Regina sits up to shrug off her shirt when Emma's done and the blonde attaches her lips to Regina's neck. Regina lets Emma push her back down, and watches as Emma shimmies out of her jeans and tosses them across the floor and, surprise, surprise – Emma isn't wearing underwear. Falling back onto Regina, Emma kisses her passionately again. _"She doesn't love you."_ It doesn't take long for Emma to completely disrobe the mayor, and after that it doesn't take long for Emma to kiss her way down the mayors torso, past her belly button, which Emma was surprised to find pierced with a silver bar with a ruby apple at the end all those months ago, down to where she needs to be.

"God! Emma!" Regina moans as she feels Emma's tongue inside her, Emma retracts and places both hands against Regina's thigh. Sex is the only time Regina ever calls Emma by her name and it never fails to make Emma smile. Then she's back where Regina wants her, gently massaging her clit with her tongue whilst softly scratching her nails down the supple flesh of the mayor's thigh; Regina's back arches and she closes her eyes tight as she feels Emma place a gentle kiss on her heated mound. _"She doesn't love you."_ Emma moves her tongue into Regina and instantly licks _that_ spot. Regina gasps and tightens her grip on the rug beneath them as Emma hums a little and the soft scratching becomes harder, just how Regina likes it.

"Emma," Regina breathes, pushing the blondes hair down just a fraction, Emma takes the hint and moves her tongue faster, every so often stopping and blowing cool air onto Regina's throbbing clit. Every time Emma does this, Regina bites her lip a little harder, and it isn't long before the mayor can taste blood. Emma quickens the pace when she feels Regina grab one of her hands and squeeze. Regina doesn't usually hold hands either, that's another sex-thing that Emma's found she enjoys.

Emma squeezes her lovers hand gently as she feels Regina's walls contract and she can hear her name repeated breathily, like a mantra somewhere above her head. As Regina rides out her orgasm, Emma slowly kissed her way back up to the lips that she waited so long to taste.

"Hi," Emma smiles down at Regina, before pressing a heart breaking kiss onto Regina's lips. A single tear finds its way down Regina's cheek, and the mayor can do nothing when Emma silently licks it away.

"Hi," Regina whispers back at Emma, smiling as best she can. Then she pulls Emma's head down to meet hers and their lips clash together urgently. Regina can taste herself on Emma and the familiar burning on her thighs will remind her of this for a good few days, but still, _"She doesn't love you."_ And Regina just wants it to stop so she kisses her lover more forcefully and flipping them over so that Regina is straddling Emma's stomach.

Regina stops for a second to take in Emma, eye lids heavy, pupils dilated, her chest is heaving and it's hard for Regina to believe that she did this.

Then Emma breathes her name, so silently that Regina isn't even sure it happened. But that sound is like the starting gun at a horse race, and suddenly Regina is everywhere. Her mouth is burning a hot trail from Emma's neck down through the valley between her breasts and back again, stopping to ring her tongue torturously slowly around her hardened nipples. Her hands are gently caressing the inside of her thighs and getting so almost _there_ but never actually there.

"Gina!" It's somewhere between a whine and a moan and it makes Regina stop for a split second, Emma looks into brown orbs and her lover smirks and tuts.

"Patience, my dear," And then Regina is inside her, just the tips of her fingers but enough to make Emma squirm, slowly Regina pushes further, deeper inside of Emma and it's all Emma can do not to just grab her hand and get all of Regina right now. But she doesn't, because she knows she likes this, Regina knows she likes this, and in the end the fact that they know each other like this is all that matters "Is a virtue."

"Regina!" Emma breathes heavily as she feels the fingers inside of her curl and uncurl torturously slow. "God, Gina I…"

Regina's lips are on hers again, heavy and insistent, Emma succumbs to Regina as her lovers fingers hit right _there_ and Emma gasps, leaving her mouth free for Regina's tongue to explore. Emma begins to raise her hips to meet Regina's thrusts as the mayor moves quicker, matching her hands pace with her tongue. When Emma clenches around Regina's fingers, she doesn't stop, she thrusts deeper with every twitch of Emma's orgasm, helping Emma ride the high for as long as possible.

Emma cries out when Regina releases her mouth, a mixture of curse words and Regina's name, and other mumbled words that Regina can't quite make out and when she's done, Emma looks into Regina's eyes and smirks. Lunging up to where Regina is sitting watching Emma, the blonder wrestles her lover back to the floor.

"My turn," Emma smirks, pecking Regina on the lips.

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It's a long time before either one of them tire enough to stop. But when they are, Regina crawls tiredly that little distance to Emma and slumps down with her ear against Emma's heart. The frantic thudding makes Regina smirk and the brunette shivers slightly as Emma's arms come round to hug her. Emma takes the hand lying on her stomach and entwines her fingers with Regina's, gently kissing each knuckle before dropping both hands onto her stomach. Emma nestles her cheek firmly against Regina's hair. The pair snuggle further into each other and Regina closes her eyes, willing herself to fall asleep.

"Gina," Emma mumbles, Regina stays stock still and silent, begging whoever it is she should beg not to do this to her. "I love you too."

Finally, Regina cries.

"_She doesn't love you."_


	3. It'll Make You Feel Better Promise

**Disclaimer - See Chapter One  
A'N - I don't know where this came from. I really don't.**

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**Chapter 03 – It'll Make You Feel Better; Promise**

Emma stretched and groaned at the cracking sounds coming from her bones. She nonetheless grabbed the blanket that hadn't been there when she went to sleep and snuggled into it, reaching across the space for Regina.

"We're never sleep…" She stopped dead when all her hand came into contact with was the cool marble floor. "Ok," Emma sat and surveyed the room for her jeans, surprised when she found them neatly folded at the bottom of a pile of more neatly folded clothes. Shaking her head and smiling at her girlfriend's neat-freak tendencies, Emma yanked her jeans out from under the pile, effectively scattering her clothes over the floor again and fumbled about in the pockets to find her phone.

The bright screen snapped Emma's eyes shut fast, the light almost blinding in the just-before-sunrise-dim room. _3:12_ was boxed off in the corner of the screen, telling Emma that it had been around five hours since she last checked the time, and that there was no logical reason for Regina to have been anywhere other than with Emma. Unless…

"Oh God!" Emma was up and dialling in a second, if not less, she was just hopping into her jeans when the phone answered and Ruby's voice came down the line, a little too awake for almost quarter past three.

"Yeah?"

"Ruby!" Emma sounded relieved, "Is everything ok?"

"Yeah," Ruby sounded confused, "Everything's fine, Henry's asleep and there haven't been any murderers lurking about since you called last night. Why?" Emma didn't reply she was too busy being relieved that nothing happened to Henry and concerned over Regina's disappearing act.

"Emma?"

"Yeah, Rubes, I'm here," Emma sighed and ran her hand through her hair; she had managed to mostly clothe herself bar her top, which she didn't feel like manoeuvring around the phone. "Regina isn't over there is she?"

"It'd be pretty pointless me being here if she was wouldn't it? Why?" Ruby answered curiously

"No reason, just ah," Emma sighed, looking around, "Look, I'm sorry for waking you, bye Rubes,"

"Bye Em,"

Emma bit her lip worriedly and threw her tank top over her head and made her way out of the town hall

"Bye Em," Ruby hangs up and puts the phone back down on the cradle, she sighs and leans against the kitchen counter. She jumped slightly when the microwave beeped, opened the door and took out two steaming mugs of warm milk. She added a teaspoon and a half of sugar and made her way back up to the guest room that had been designated as the babysitter's room when Regina had no other choice but to go back to work, and, upon realising that Henry would not settle for anyone else, it had been designated Ruby's room.

Quietly opening and closing the door with both hands full, the way only a waitress can, Ruby made her way over to the bed, and the woman sitting rigid on the edge of it.

"Here," Ruby placed one of the mugs into Regina's hand, "It'll make you feel better, promise." Regina clasped her hands around the mug, breaking her gaze on the spot on the wall to smile up at Ruby.

"Thank you," Regina whispered, shutting her eyes tight when the waver in her voice bought back the tears that she had barely managed to supress.

"Anytime," Ruby smiles, she sits cross legged at a right angle to Regina, careful to put as little distance between them as possible, without actually touching the mayor. It was an unspoken agreement – which Ruby thought sucked – that they did no more than drink warm milk and talk, no comforting shoulder squeezing, hugs, arm rubs, or any other physical contact.

Regina tentatively sipped her milk, revelling in the familiar taste – since leaving Fairy Tale Land; this has been the only constant in Regina's life; Ruby and her, drinking warm milk together whenever Regina or Ruby felt really shitty.

This tradition started back in Fairy Tale Land, when Red was seven. The little girl had bought the Queen a mug of warm milk when she saw her sitting alone at the beginning of the Princess' annual birthday carnival, and the Queen had returned the favour when the week was over and Red got separated from her grandmother.

Red's little gesture became a habit, so much so that when Red ran away from home, she ran straight to the castle. And when Regina feared that she was carrying King Leopold's child, she ran straight to Red's cottage.

So when Ruby's boyfriend dumped her via text message, she didn't find it odd that she showed up at the mayor's door. When Henry told Regina that he hated her for the first time, Regina's first instinct was to go to Ruby, and Ruby didn't question why.

"Want this one too?" Ruby asked when she noticed that Regina had finished her mug, they had been sat in total silence, Regina lost in thought, Ruby watching Regina be lost in thought. That was part of why this worked so well, when Regina needed the milk, Ruby could let her sit in silence and when Ruby needed it, Regina could let her rant.

"No, thank you," Regina shook her head slightly. Ruby nodded her head and the two lapsed into silence again. Ruby looked solemnly at the mayor, wishing desperately that she knew how to make it better, like Regina always seemed to be able to for her. Ruby decided getting her mind off of whatever it was that was making her so upset was probably the best way to go.

"So, Emma called," Regina's head shot up as Ruby continued to 'get Regina's mind off of it', "Just now, when I was making the milk, she wanted to know if everything was ok, she usually does, but it's generally in the evening, not at sunrise." Regina's eyes filled with tears and she quickly looked back down towards her now empty mug, if the mere mention of Emma was enough to bring the usually impassive woman to tears, what would seeing her do? "I figure she's had a few drinks, she sounded really weird and…" Regina covered Ruby's hand with her own, effectively stopping her babbling, the mayor looked up and offered a watery smile to the younger woman, knowing that she was only trying to help.

"Oh, Regina," Ruby breathed sympathetically, it was strange to hear Ruby say her name, but she didn't comment, instead the mayor let the younger girl brush her hair behind her ear and wipe the pad of her thumb under her eyelid and rested her hand on her cheek.

"Tell me how to make it better," Ruby looked at Regina with such sincerity, such honest willingness to help that only a handful of other people had shown Regina and the mayor couldn't make herself pull away from the foreign touch.

"Just," Regina bit back more tears, "Talk to me about something else, anything else," Ruby nodded and leaned in towards Regina.

"You know, I've always, kind of had a thing for you" the young woman whispered, Regina's eyes went wide as Ruby's other hand came up to trap her face. Ruby's lips connected with hers for a single moment before the pair sprang apart at the sound of the door hitting the inside wall of the bedroom.

"Regina?"

"Em!"


	4. Kissing Emma Swan

**Chapter 4 – Kissing Emma Swan**

"Hey," Ruby jumped up from the bed and fiddled with her hands, "What're you doing here? I told you Henry was fine on the phone and…" she looked nervously down at the mayor, who hadn't moved since Ruby kissed her. Then glanced towards Emma, who was somewhere between furious and just, confused. "Can we talk, outside?" Ruby gestured towards the hallway and Emma found herself nodding before she could stop herself.

Regina looked up towards Emma as Ruby pulled her out of the room, the door shut quietly, leaving Regina alone with her thoughts. She looked around the room, her eyes still wide, and noticed Ruby's mug of warm milk on the floor by the bed, she picked it up and sipped it, testing the temperature and then gulped the soothing liquid down, trying to sort through the events of last night and this morning in her mind.

In the hall, Ruby had explained what had happened to an incredulous Emma, who kept alternating between shaking her head and combing her hand through her hair.

"So, that 'guy' you've been crushing on since forever," Emma looked at Ruby incredulously, "That's Regina?"

"Right!" Ruby was smiling, "And I think she likes me too, I mean she totally kissed me back!"

"She kissed you," Emma looked at the closed door with Regina behind it. "She kissed you." She said again, quieter this time, Ruby nodded, still smiling and squeezed Emma's arm.

"So, I don't mean to sound rude," Ruby said slowly, eyeing the stares conspicuously, "But I think she and I need to talk, don't you?"

"She kissed you," Emma repeated, Ruby nodded her head and eyed the stairs again, smiling at Emma like she just won the lottery. Emma looked back towards the door, closing her eyes tightly, suddenly; she was angry, really fucking angry. She wanted to go in to that room and shout and scream at Regina, and she wanted to get absolutely shitfaced. Still aware of Henry's presence in the room down the hall, Emma clenched her teeth and looked back towards Ruby. "You're right, you guys should talk." Then she squeezed Ruby's hand, a little harder than necessary, under the pretence of wishing her luck, and started down the stairs towards the door. Already thinking about how much whiskey she had left at Mary Margaret's.

"Hey," Ruby smiled tentatively as she slid back into 'her room', she closed the door behind her gently and leant back on the polished wood.

"Where's Miss Swan?" Regina asked; Ruby could hear the tears in Regina's voice. She realised that whatever had made her so upset must have had something to do with the sheriff.

"Oh, it's fine," Ruby reassured, "She's gone," Regina sprang up, the mug in her hand clattering to the floor.

"Gone?" Regina took a quick step towards the door, scooting Ruby out of the way before throwing it open and rushing out into the hall, she heard the front door open and breathed a sigh of relief that Emma wasn't already in her car. She was halfway to the stairs before she remembered Ruby. She spun around and saw the young girl looking confused, hugging herself and biting her lip, "We'll talk later, I promise," this seemed to reassure Ruby enough that she gave Regina a relieved smile, and the mayor continued her pursuit of the sheriff.

"Swan!" Regina called as she opened her front door hurriedly; not bothering to close it as she practically jumped down the few steps there was and ran barefoot down the pathway towards the gate. When she opened the gate and stepped out onto the pavement, she searched frantically for Emma's familiar bug. She saw it parked a little way down the road, the headlights were on and she could see Emma sitting in the driver's seat.

"Miss Swan!" Regina yelled, rushing down the street towards the car, Emma saw her coming in the side mirror and unbuckled her seatbelt. When Regina slowed to a walk, Emma got out of the car, slamming the door shut and turned on Regina. In the few seconds that she'd been sat in the car, the tears had come hard and fast. Her mascara, already smudged from sleeping with it on, was now streaked down her porcelain cheeks and her hands were still white from the steel grip she'd had on the steering wheel.

"What the fuck!" She closed the distance between herself and Regina, and yelled at her. Regina flinched at the pain in Emma's voice. The mayor opened her mouth to speak, but the blonde's lips were on hers before she had the chance to form her words.

Regina responded on auto pilot, revelling in the still new feel of kissing Emma Swan. _"She doesn't love you."_ Her hands came up to weave into Emma's hair, and Emma's came up to grip Regina's shoulders. Regina felt herself moan into the kiss, and Emma turned them slightly, Regina felt Emma nibble on her bottom lip and her knees went weak. Regina's breath was forced out of her as her back came into contact with hard metal when Emma shoved her against her car. Before she had time to say anything, Emma was kissing her again, her hands on the roof of the car either side of her, forcing her knee in between the mayor's thighs.

Regina's hands came up to Emma's hair again and Emma pressed her thigh harder between Regina's as she moved her lips down to the mayors neck, Regina shifted so that she was pressed harder on Emma's thigh and her neck was fully exposed to Emma. She felt Emma smile against her neck as her hands came away from her hair to grip the blonde's forearms. Emma retracted her knee and bought one of her hands down to the mayor's waistline. Regina gasped as Emma's cold hand was suddenly cupping her heated groin.

Abruptly, Emma's teeth sunk into Regina's soft skin. The pain bought Regina to her senses and she pushed Emma away as Emma looked up at Regina, she saw tears forming in Emma's eyes, and blood smeared on her lips. Tentatively touching her shoulder, Regina flinched when she came into contact with the fresh wound. She retracted her hand and stared at her red tinged fingertips.

"Does she do that to you?" Emma's voice was venomous, "Does she?" Regina pulled herself up from leaning against the car; she pulled her skirt down and flattened her hair. Emma stepped forwards again, bringing her head forward so that her lips were millimetres from Regina's, looking directly into Regina's eyes. Regina stayed stock still, not breaking eye contact with Emma even as tears clouded her eyes. She didn't say anything; she could see Emma wasn't done.

"Is she as good a fuck as I am?" Emma hissed, her tone daring Regina to say 'yes' her eyes begging for her to say she didn't know, that she'd never want to find out. Regina closed her eyes, letting tears fall down her cheeks. She opened her mouth, but her voice failed her as the action made her upper lip brush against Emma's. _"She doesn't love you."_

"I can't," Regina whispered after a pregnant pause, she stepped back, so that she could feel the cold metal of Emma's car behind her, Emma looked at her, anger and hurt battling for dominance in her eyes.

"Can't what?" Emma spat.

"It's over," Regina pulled her hand up so that it was in between herself and Emma, and then let it drop back against the car. Emma frowned, slowly beginning to shake her head. Regina dropped her gaze to the pavement, only now realising that she wasn't wearing any shoes. She felt Emma step towards her, once again trapping her against the car.

"No," Emma's voice was hoarse, and Regina could hear that she was crying, "No." Emma said again, more adamantly. She grabbed Regina's chin and pulled her face up, Regina's eyes were closed, but she felt Emma move closer still. "You can't."

Regina didn't open her eyes; she just shook her head and sidestepped away from the car. Emma's hand dropped to her side and she stood staring straight ahead as Regina breathed in deeply and started to walk away.

"You said you loved me," Emma said, Regina stopped walking as Emma turned to face her back. The mayor didn't turn around, she knew that if she did, she'd run back to Emma, tell her she didn't mean it, explain what happened with Ruby, make it all go away, kiss her again, a kiss which wouldn't break the curse, and she'd keep on kissing her until she couldn't take it anymore. She didn't turn around because she couldn't put herself through that.

So she started walking again.


	5. Exactly Like It Was Before

**Disclaimer - See chapter 1  
A/N - Unbetad and subject to change**

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**Chapter 5 – Exactly Like It Was Before**

It had been a week.

In that week, Emma had seen Regina numerous times, but Regina had made sure that she'd not had the chance to talk to her. The mayor would disappear as soon as Emma walked into the same room; she would suddenly change directions if it looked like they were going to walk past each other, every time Emma walked Henry back from school, Regina wouldn't be 'home'. Of course Emma knew Regina was in the house somewhere, she wouldn't let Henry arrive home to an empty house; she just didn't emerge from hiding until Emma was gone.

Today though, Emma had decided to stay. She left Henry sitting on the sofa in front of the television and walked loudly back to the front door. She opened it, waited a moment and then shut it again, then made her way back to the TV room to sit with Henry and wait.

She didn't have to wait long. About five minutes after she'd pretended to leave, she heard Regina's heels clicking against the wooden stair case as she descended. She was busy reading what must be an important file, so she didn't notice Emma right away.

"Good afternoon Henry," She said, she bent to kiss his head and froze halfway down. Her eyes went wide as she took in the figure of Emma Swan, sat in her home like she belonged. Emma smiled at Regina, as if last Thursday hadn't happened, as if they were still having their secret affair, still had that little secret that was just theirs.

"Hey Mom," Henry said, looking up at her, this wasn't the first time Emma had stayed a little longer after dropping him off, and Regina had always been okay with it before, but that didn't stop Henry from feeling like his mother would kick Emma out of the house at any moment.

"Hey," Emma echoed, much quieter. Regina was still staring at her, but quickly recovered when Emma reached over above Henry's head, whose eyes were fixed on the television, to catch the mayor's hand in her own.

"It seems you two are enthralled," Regina shook Emma's hand away, "I'm going to start on dinner Henry, make sure you're cleaned up by the time I finish." She spun on the balls of her feet and primly started towards the kitchen.

"Can Emma stay?" Again, this wasn't an uncommon occurrence, Regina had seemed much happier to allow Henry to see Emma in the last couple of months. Of course Henry could see it was a trick to get him to think the Fairy Tale stuff wasn't true, but if it let him see Emma, he could deal.

"Miss Swan has work to do," Was Regina's answer as she disappeared down the hallway. Henry frowned and slumped back on the sofa, sulking. Emma's eyes lingered on the spot that she had last seen Regina. She'd been looking for an excuse to talk to Regina alone, and here it was.

"I'll talk to her kid," She ruffled Henry's hair and sped off into the kitchen.

"So I've decided something," Emma said casually walking into the kitchen, Regina didn't look at Emma, but the carrot chopping stopped for a brief moment before continuing slightly more violently. Undeterred, Emma continued, she settled with her hip against the counter next to Regina, so that she was facing the mayor sideways, "We're not over," Regina's eyes shifted to focus on the blonde, but her head still didn't move. Emma leaned over Regina to grab a carrot slice. As she drew back, surgical tape sticking out from Regina's shirt caught her eye. "And pretty soon, you'll start acting like it too."

"Miss Swan," Regina kept her voice as mayoral as she could; why couldn't Emma hurry up and hate her like everybody else? "We are."

Emma didn't say anything; her eyes were still firmly fixed on that tiny piece of tape on Regina's shoulder. She imagined what the bit must look like now, Regina had obviously gotten stitches so the wound wouldn't scar, but it filled Emma with a strange sense of possession to know that, for now at least, there was a physical mark on Regina that made her Emma's.

Regina had gone back to chopping carrots, but she felt Emma's eyes on her, a glance in the blonde's direction showed the mayor exactly what it was she was looking at. Ruby had done a good job with dressing the wound on her shoulder. She knew that it would more than likely scar, but she didn't mind. Somewhere in her unconscious, the urge to keep the only thing she had left of Emma had refused to let her get stiches.

Regina looked up at Emma after she had finished chopping the carrots. That was a bad idea, once she'd fixed her gaze on Emma's eyes, she couldn't look away. Emma smirked at her, bringing their faces closer together.

"I get a say in this too, Gina," She whispered, hot breath brushing against Regina's lips, "We're not over, and I'm going to act like it." Then she bought her head down to Regina's shoulder and kissed the spot where she'd bitten her. Regina breathed in deeply, her eyes closed.  
"Miss Swan," She started, Emma cut her off with her two fingers against her lips.

"Everything is exactly like it was before," Emma then picked up a handful of chopped carrots and plopped them into the saucepan full of water on the cooker. Regina glared at Emma as she continued to help prepare dinner.

"Emma!" Henry called his voice full of childlike glee, "You gotta see this! It's hilarious!" Emma smiled sweetly at Regina and scurried off to find out what she had to see. Regina clenched her fists tightly and went back to preparing the vegetables; chopping even more violently then she had been before. She knew that Emma wasn't leaving unless she physically there the blonde out, which would make Henry loathe her even more. And she knew that Emma was serious when she said she'd act like nothing had changed.

She also knew that if Emma did, she would fold. It might not be today, or this week, or even this month, but eventually, she would give up and fall into Emma like she already desperately wanted to and fuck herself up even more.

"Fuck!" Regina grabbed a tea towel and pressed her bleeding finger onto it. She heard Emma laugh energetically from the TV room. Not for the first time, she asked herself why Emma was so goddamn stubborn.

"Mom," Henry yelled, "Door!" Regina sighed, checking that her finger had stopped bleeding before throwing the tea towel into the washing machine and making her way into the foyer. Emma had gotten to the door first though, and Regina hung back when she saw Ruby on the other side.

"Uh, hi Em," Ruby fidgeted nervously, "What's up?" Emma had visible bristled; she had been subtly hostile towards Ruby for the entire week. Ruby had pretended not to notice, knowing that she'd inadvertently made Regina almost-cheat on her. But Ruby also knew that the two of them weren't together any more, and right now Regina needed a friend, so she'd been stopping by every day to make sure the mayor was ok.

"Dinner," Emma replied curtly, Ruby nodded and smiled awkwardly.

"Yeah," She nodded, not sure what else to say, "Is Regina around?" She regretted bringing Regina up almost instantly as Emma looked ready to slam the door in Ruby's face. If Henry hadn't chosen that exact moment to come and greet the guest, Emma would have done just that.

"Rubes!" Henry launched himself at the waitress, who pulled him up into a bear hug. "Are you here for dinner too?"

"No," "Sure," Emma and Ruby refuted each other simultaneously. Emma glared at Ruby, who set Henry down and ruffled his hair, "If it's ok with your mom of course."

"Of course it's ok," Regina smiled as brightly as she could as she emerged from the kitchen doorway. Upon seeing the reaction that Ruby evoked from Emma, Regina had formed a plan. She wouldn't be tempted to give in to Emma's advances if there _were _no advances, and if Emma was true to her word, and everything was going to be like it was before, anything overtly flirtatious would be resigned to when the pair where alone, if Ruby was always around Regina, then Regina would never be alone with Emma. "We love having you, don't we Henry?" Henry nodded emphatically and pulled Regina into the TV room, Emma glared after them and then at Regina.

"Like it was before right?" Regina smiled at Emma, the confidence in her eyes glazed with apology. After a second, she turned and followed Ruby and her son into the TV room.

"Right," Emma said her tone defiant. Regina couldn't stop Emma from getting her alone forever, and Emma was nothing if not resourceful. If she wanted Regina alone; she'd bloody well get Regina alone.


	6. I'm Not Going Anywhere

**Chapter 6 – I'm Not Going Anywhere**

Once dinner was over, Regina had found the flaw in her brilliant plan. Henry and Ruby sometimes went off together, like now, when Henry had insisted Ruby finish the bedtime story she'd started reading him a few nights ago. Which left Regina doing the dishes, and Emma wandering around the kitchen, humming to herself.

"That was easy," She said in the end. Regina continued washing up as if she hadn't heard Emma. The blonde made her way lazily to Regina; she watched the mayor's hands dip in and out of the soapy water for a moment before circling her arms around her waist and resting her head on Regina's shoulder.

It reminded Emma of the first time they'd been together, or the morning after. Emma had woken up alone, Henry was still asleep and she'd found Regina furiously washing the wine glasses from the night before. She had wanted to do what she was doing now, reassure Regina that she wasn't going anywhere, but Regina had stopped her, told her to get dressed and leave; so she had.

Regina had stiffened under Emma's touch, and placed her hands over Emma's, revelling in the feeling of being held for a brief second before prising herself out of Emma's grip.

"Why are you here Miss Swan?" The steady, sharp tone of her voice surprised her. When had she gotten to sound so much like her mother?

"You know why I'm here Gina," Emma snuggled back into Regina, "Henry's asleep, and we'll get rid of Ruby in a few minutes…" She trailed off, her voice low and seductive. Her fingers slowly started making idle patterns on Regina's abdomen. Regina shuddered slightly and ripped Emma's hands off of her stomach more forcefully.

"Or maybe Ruby and I will get rid of you," The malice in Regina's voice made Emma falter, and Regina had never hated herself more after the sound that came out of Emma's mouth; half way between a sob and a gasp. Emma composed herself pretty quickly though.

"Right," The small, kicked puppy voice that came from Emma may as well have been a knife embedded firmly in Regina's gut, "I, you…" Emma trailed off, not sure what to say. She had been searching for a reason for Regina's actions a week ago, and had come up with nothing. Nothing but Ruby; she'd gotten the full account of what happened from the waitress, but a part of her was still clinging to the hope that the kiss was all Ruby, or maybe even two thirds.

She coughed slightly and then turned to leave; she dejectedly looked back at Regina, who was still washing up, had her back not been to Emma, she would have seen the tears glistening in her former lover's eyes.

"So, that _is_ why you dumped me then?" Emma asked a part of her _still_ hoping Regina was just being cruel to get her to leave; at least that meant she wasn't with Ruby, that she hadn't lied when she'd said…

"Yes," Regina forced the only answer she could see making Emma leave her alone out of her mouth, the ugly, heart breaking lie lingering in the air between them until Emma nodded solemnly, and finally left.

Regina's rigid stature sagged when she heard the front door slam, a little harder than was necessary. She closed her eyes tightly and brushed the back of her hand across her cheek. Once she was sure no more tears would come, she finished the washing and drying. She poured herself a healthy amount of apple cider, gulped down the entire glass and poured another.

About three minutes later, Ruby found Regina sat cross legged on the tiled floor of the kitchen. She didn't look up when Ruby walked over to her, and she didn't acknowledge the waitress as she sat down beside her. She finished her third glass of cider and made a grab for the bottle, which Ruby had moved to one side when she'd sat down.

The position of the glass meant that Regina had to lean over Ruby to retrieve it, which put the pair in a rather suggestive position. Regina froze when she heard the front door opening, Ruby shifted slightly and smiled brightly, taking Regina's hesitance to move as a sign of attraction. Regina let go of the bottle and placed her hand on Ruby's thigh, listening intently to the sound of Emma's footsteps stomping – quietly for Henry's sake – towards them.

When they were close enough, Regina took a deep breath, closed her eyes tightly, and kissed Ruby. Really kissed her with all she could. She tried to imagine softer, less lipstick-flavoured lips, but the hands in her hair and the moan that came from a foreign mouth refused to let Regina be kissing anyone but Ruby.

The metallic clink of a set of keys hitting the floor made Ruby's head bounce back onto the cupboard. Her hand immediately came away from Regina's hair and started rubbing her scalp.

"Ow," She was smiling though, giddy from being kissed that fiercely, Regina was looking at Ruby's lap, feeling dirty and ashamed. She'd played Ruby's infatuation against her to make Emma's go away. She shook her head and primly stood, flattening her dress before holding out her hand to Ruby.

Ruby took it, looking directly at the blonde in the doorway, who looked like the proverbial deer in headlights. _That didn't take long,_ Emma chewed the inside of her mouth as Regina turned to face her, Ruby didn't let go of the hand that helped her up, and placed her free hand against Regina's forearm; the picture of a happy couple on a Christmas card.

"Did you forget something?" Regina asked, fighting the urge to push Ruby away. Now she didn't just sound like her mother; she treated people the same ay Cora did too. Ruby was still smiling brightly, but had tamed the beam as much as she could, she didn't want to rub Emma's nose in it.

"Yeah, actually," Emma said, "Can I talk to you, in private," She looked at Ruby pointedly, not sure what she was supposed to feel about the waitress. This wasn't her fault, she had a crush that Regina was playing in her favour, but that didn't stop Emma from wanting to punch her in that giddy face of hers.

"Sure," Ruby answered for her, she released Regina from her gentle grip and whispered to Regina, "Just talk it out, once and for all." Then she walked out into the hall and made her way up to 'her' bedroom. Regina didn't watch Ruby leave, or take her eyes off Emma when Ruby was talking to her, which slightly raised Emma's confidence about what she had come back to say. Walking in on the two of them making out on the floor however, had lowered it significantly more.

"You lied," She said it anyway, staring at Regina; her eyes daring her to deny it.

"I beg your pardon?" Regina half scoffed, Emma shook her head and walked forwards, until she was close enough to take Regina's hands into hers.

"You lied about Ruby," Emma gently stroked the backs of Regina's hands with her thumbs, "I know you did. I know that you're scared of something, that's why you couldn't kiss me, that's why you broke up with me when you told me you loved me, and that's why you're doing this with Ruby."

Regina was looking directly into Emma's eyes, blaming the alcohol and letting her caress her hands and letting her get everything right.

"And I also know that my approach," Emma looked down, squeezing Regina's hands reassuringly "Trying to act like you didn't break up with me, is only going to make it worse."

Regina sighed, hoping this meant Emma was going to leave it alone, knowing, though, that it didn't mean that at all.

"So I'll let you sort through it," Emma continued, "I'll give you the space that you need and I'll wait for you to not be scared anymore." Looking back up into Regina's eyes, Emma smiled lovingly. "You take however long you need to figure out that I'm not going to hurt you; that I'm not going anywhere, and I'll be here when you're done."

Emma stepped forwards and placed a tender kiss on the scar above Regina's lip, their hands pressed lightly between their chests. Regina could feel Emma's heart beating against her ribcage. Emma's lips lingered for what seemed to Regina like hours. Emma pulled away just enough to make eye contact again, and Regina hated that she missed the contact already

"Just don't use Ruby to realise that ok?" Emma had tears in her eyes, and her voice was wavering now, "I don't think I could stand it if she, if you," Emma couldn't say it, she couldn't voice the betrayal and heart break she would feel if Regina let Ruby be _with_ her.

Another reassuring hand squeeze and watery smile, Regina's expression remaining as impassive as possible, her eyes betraying her anyway, and Emma let go of Regina. She wiped her cheeks as she turned around, and walked out of the kitchen for the third time that night; this time, not having any intention of coming back.

At least until Regina asked her to.


	7. What If

**Chapter 7 – What If**

"You're reading Henry's book?" Ruby jumped at the sound of Regina's voice at the door, she was sat cross legged on 'her' bed, flipping idly through the pages of 'Once Upon a Time'. She'd read it to Henry earlier, and found herself intrigued by the dark tales the narrative told.

"Sort of," Ruby forgot about the book in her lap, smiling brightly at Regina, "not really." Regina nodded, stepping a little further into the room, looking back over her shoulder, changing her mind and then changing it back again. "Did Emma leave?" Ruby knew she had, she'd heard the door slam half an hour ago, it had taken Regina half an hour to get from the kitchen to where she was stood now; which was barely a one minute walk.

"Yes," Regina looked back at Ruby, but the waitress could see retreat in her eyes. Ruby jumped up and made her way over to Regina, she slid her arms around Regina's shoulders and twiddled her short brown hair before pulling Regina's head forward and meeting her with a kiss.

Regina's first instinct was to pull back, but the alcohol she'd consumed earlier, both before kissing Ruby and in the half hour since Emma left, stopped her from doing so. She was conflicted, Emma's words floated around in her head, with a crueller, mother-knows-best voice following after it. _Don't use Ruby to realise that ok? She doesn't love you._

So Regina lets Ruby walk them backwards towards the bed, and even lets her spin them round so that it's Regina who lands with her back on the soft mattress, and her head on the hardback cover of Henry's book. All of a sudden, Regina feels sick; shame and guilt shoot through her as she comes to her senses.

"Shit!" Ruby said, scrambling onto the bed next to Regina, who lethargically pulled the book out from under her and sat up, simply staring at it. "Are you ok?" Regina didn't answer, instead she opened the book to the last few pages, gently fingering the torn edges of the secret that Henry didn't want her to know. She knew anyway of course; Emma was Snow White's daughter, she didn't have to read about something that she'd lived.

"It's kind of depressing don't you think?" Ruby shuffled closer to Regina, tentatively brushing hair out of her face, Regina looked up at the waitress, feigning curiosity. She didn't need to hear about how evil she was, how awful Snow and James must feel, but she had to. "I mean, The Evil Queen wanted to take away the happy endings right," Regina nodded slightly, half listening, half blocking out what a terrible person she was, "But she can't do that, because happy endings are everywhere." Ruby smirked and grazed her fingers down Regina's arm, causing the mayor to frown slightly, "In little things, sometimes big, but wherever you are, someone is always going to be happy. So she takes away magic instead; that's essentially what the curse did." So far, Ruby hadn't said anything negative about the Queen, which made Regina relax slightly, "And everyone knows that curses are broken by true love's kiss; because true love is wonderful and magical and blah, blah, blah. But in a world where magic doesn't exist, how can true love be magical?" Regina looked at Ruby, suddenly seeing what the waitress was getting at, "There could be a million true love's kisses and not one of them would break the curse because magic is impossible. The curse can never be broken." Ruby closed the book to emphasise her point, "It's really freaking depressing."

_True love's kiss can't be magical in a world where magic is impossible._ Could that be true? What if it was? Did that change anything?

"All curses can be broken," Regina whispered, sounding much too much like Rumpel, staring blankly at the intricately decorated lettering on the front cover. Ruby smiled and turned Regina's face up to hers, leaning in to kiss the mayor again.

"Not in a world where curses can't exist," Ruby kissed her again, Regina didn't respond, nor did she stop Ruby from pushing her backwards onto the bed. _Don't use Ruby to realise that ok? _Emma's voice snapped Regina out of whatever trance she'd been in. She gently nudged Ruby up and the waitress, now straddling Regina's stomach, looked down at her curiously. She liked her, Ruby liked her. A hell of a lot more than Regina liked Ruby. She was using the poor girl to protect herself from Emma; using her to make Emma hate her so it wouldn't matter that she didn't love her.

She was going to be sick.

Pushing Ruby none too gently off of her, Regina launched herself off of the bed and into the en suite bathroom, locking the door behind her before hunching over the toilet. She could just here Ruby knocking and calling to her over the ugly sound of heaving. She felt tears slipping from her closed eyes as the mix of apple cider and vodka emptied from her stomach.

Once she the heaves bought up nothing more than air, Regina pushed away from the toilet seat and leant against the shower door, bringing her shaking hands to cover her face. She heard Ruby calling through the door and another wave of guilt rippled through her.

"Try a shower," Ruby said through the door, "I'll be here when you're done." Regina knew she would be; she was too sweet for her own good. Even when she was younger; she'd still gone out of her way to help Regina. Now Regina was doing what she always did; what her mother bought her up to do; she had to protect herself because nobody else would. _Emma would._

She shook her head and threw it against the wall, trying to physically knock the thought out of her head. Standing shakily she took off her dress, jumping slightly at the sound of something heavier than fabric hitting the floor. She fumbled around until she found the offending device; her mobile phone clenched tightly in her hand, she dialled a familiar number. _Not in a world where curses can't exist._

"Gina?" Emma sounded apprehensively thrilled, Regina didn't say anything for a while, listening instead to the sound of Emma breathing; allowing herself to think Ruby was right; there could have been a million true love's kisses, or maybe just a few, and she would think they weren't because the curse didn't break, because the curse _couldn't_ be broken. "Regina?"

"What if," She whispered, Emma's urgent tone breaking her train of thought, "What if…and I, I can't," Regina struggled to put what she was feeling into words, Emma was on the other end of the line, smiling broadly, thinking this was Regina telling her she was right; asking her to wait, not knowing it was the last, ditch attempt of a broken heart, clinging to a what if that would be dismissed in the morning. "What I can't say it?" Regina asked finally.

"Then say," Emma looked at her clenched fist, which held the only picture of Regina she had. She was pruning her tree, unaware she was being photographed, and even though she could only see her profile, Emma could see she was happy. "Say apples." Emma's only reply was the dial tone.

Clenching her teeth, Regina wiped her cheeks violently, reaching out a still-shaking hand to twist the hot tap to full and pushed herself under the scalding spray of water; trying to burn away to dirty, guilty feeling that hadn't gone away since she'd let Emma catch her kissing Ruby. She'd heard the hope in Emma's voice, even with the terrible reception she got in any of her bathrooms, and it only served to make her feel shitter.

She trailed her hands down her face, scrubbing at the mascara on her cheeks, and continued down to her chest and then her stomach, she bought her hand round to her back, feeling one of the many slightly raised lines that ran across her otherwise unblemished skin. _She has to learn to be obedient._

She still fell in love with a man her mother disapproved of; a woman her mother would approve of less. She hadn't learnt, despite how hard her mother had fought to teach her, and she never would. _Love is weakness Regina._

She shut her eyes tightly and willed herself not to think; tomorrow, she would wake up in a curse, which would eventually be broken; tonight however, she lost herself in the burning water running down her skin, and the 'what if' of a world where curses couldn't exist.


	8. I Want Us to Start Over

**Chapter 8 – I Want Us to Start Over**

"Hey," Ruby smiled as Regina entered the diner. She placed a mug of steaming coffee in front of her and gestured for Regina to sit at the stool.

"Hey kid," Ruby waved at Henry and then gestured to the back of the diner, "They're waiting over there," Henry's friend Sean was having a paintballing party in the woods for his birthday, they were heading out at half past seven. So naturally, since quarter to, excited kids had been piling up into the two back booths.

"Awesome," Henry ran over to them, shouting back over his shoulder, "By mom!" Regina smiled sadly after Henry, and turned her attention back to Ruby.

"Good Morning," Regina said sipping her coffee, Ruby leaned her hands against the counter, lifting herself up to place a sweet kiss on the mayor's cheek.

"That's something friends do right?" She asked, winking flirtatiously at Regina, who shook her head and smirked at the waitress playfully. Last night, Regina had emerged from the bathroom, completely composed and still a little tipsy, and the two of them had talked. Regina had explained that she liked Ruby, but not in the same way that Ruby liked her. Ruby had of course understood, knowing more than anything that what Regina needed was a friend, not a lover.

They'd talked about Emma, Regina had finally admitted to Ruby that she was in love with Emma; she'd tried to explain as best she could why she wasn't with Emma. Not doing a very good job due to having to leave out most of the story. Ruby just nodded along and comforted Regina until the pair finally fell asleep, fully clothed, on top of the covers, with Ruby's hand gently squeezing Regina's shoulder.

For the first time since Emma had walked into her office, Regina felt that she had a semblance of control back in her life. Ruby was a friend again, flirty and sweet and excellent at warming milk, just like she was before.

"Want some breakfast?" Ruby asked, sliding the menu over to Regina. Regina raised her eyebrows and followed Ruby's gaze, which was on the door of the diner, rather than looking down at the menu.

Emma Swan was walking up the path towards the door; Regina sighed and looked back to Ruby, who placed her hand over Regina's and squeezed comfortingly. Regina felt heavy all of a sudden, hearing the door open and a hesitance of footsteps. Emma had stopped in her tracks when she saw Regina, her hand clasped in Ruby's. Nausea had fallen to the pit of her stomach as she swallowed heavily and made her way to a booth.

"You decide what you want," Ruby gestured to the menu, "I'll go," waving a hand in Emma's general direction, the waitress made her way around the counter, leaving Regina feeling a burning sensation on her neck from Emma's gaze.

"Hey Em!" Ruby smiled, hoping that she hadn't alienated the blonde by unknowingly trying it on with her girlfriend, "Coffee?" She had bought a mug and placed it in front of the blonde, ready to pour when Emma stopped her.

"Cocoa actually," She glanced briefly at Ruby, smiling tightly. She moved her gaze back to Regina, taking a second to realise that Ruby was wearing the same jeans she had worn yesterday, and a shirt that belonged to Regina. She felt sick again.

"Sure," Ruby nodded, bouncing back around the counter to prepare Emma's drink. Emma drummed her fingers on the table and placed her chin in her other hand, still looking at Regina. She saw Regina's posture straighten even more than it was, and then the mayor swivelled around on her chair, looking directly at Emma as she moved to stand. Emma lifted her head, sitting up straighter and smiled at Regina brightly. Regina returned the gesture, albeit less enthusiastically.

"Hey Emma," Regina's smiled faltered, as did Emma's, when Henry slid into the chair opposite Emma. Regina bit her lip and sat back down on her stool, turning back to talk to Ruby, who was still making Emma's cocoa.

"Hey kid," Emma plastered a smile back on her face and tried not to focus all of her attention on Regina. Henry started to babble excitedly about some party and paintballing and a couple of guys sleeping at Sean's house tonight. Emma only half heard what Henry was saying, briefly making a note to find out who Sean was, then went back to watching Regina.

"C'mon, Henry," A tall, redheaded woman came over to usher Henry out of his seat, Emma smiled up at her politely, "We've got to get going." The redhead nods at Emma and holds out her hand, "I'm Ari, Sean's mother." Emma takes the hand and shakes firmly.

"Emma," She says and Ari nods, a dark haired woman comes to join them, placing a hand on Ari's shoulder.

"We're all packed and ready," The woman looks to Emma, "You're the new Sherriff right? Emma?" Emma nods and waves slightly.

"This is my wife, Megan,"

"Nice to meet you," Emma smiled as they started to herd kids out of the diner, "Oh, and good luck with all of them," Emma gestured towards the pack of kids outside, the women gave a thank you nod and then went out to join the kids.

Regina watched them leave, smirking as she imagined the pair marrying in Fairy Tale Land. Of course the town, and the story's the residents were in had all come from Regina in some way, but couples, families still surprised her sometimes, Ariel and Ursula being one of the surprises she'd had in the first few weeks of being here. They were happy; it seemed, no matter how much Ursula hated the redhead in reality.

"Can you pass me that bowl of cherries?" Ruby asked, snapping Regina's focus back to inside the diner. Regina looked around the counter and found the bowl, lifting herself slightly to reach the cherries over to Ruby. The waitress took one from the bowl and waved for Regina to put it back on the counter, then she gently placed the cherry on top of a mountain of whipped cream.

"Ta da!" She said, showing the cocoa to Regina, before placing it on a tray and walking back around the counter. Guessing that it was for Emma, Regina stopped her.

"I'll take it," She said, Ruby frowned at her, the look in her eyes asking her if she was sure, "I'm sure, we need to talk." Ruby half smiled and relinquished her hold on the tray, walking back around the counter, not taking her worried gaze off of Regina as she walked over to Emma's booth.

Regina slid picked the mug off of the tray and set it down in front of Emma, who had her gaze firmly on the front page of The Mirror. Jumping slightly when the mug hit the table, Emma looked up. She smiled brightly at Regina, causing the mayor's stomach to flutter involuntarily.

"May I?" Regina gestured to the chair opposite Emma, and the sheriff nodded quickly. As Regina sat down, Emma noticed Ruby's eyes fixed on the back of Regina's head, and again took in the waitresses clothes.

"What's up?" Emma asked, mentally preparing herself to hear that Regina was with Ruby now. Regina didn't say anything; she placed the tray on the next table over and placed her hands on the table.

"I wanted to talk to you," Regina could've slapped herself. Of course she wanted to talk to her; that's why she was sat here. She needed to set their relationship on the right track; she knew that being with Emma was out of the question, but the half drunken-half emotional phone call that she'd made to Emma last night had given the blonde false hope. She needed to reassure Emma, and herself, that it was completely over. "I would like us to start over; be friends."

Emma looked at Regina like she'd grown two heads, she glanced up at Ruby, who was still staring at them, and still wearing her girlfriend's, _ex-girlfriends,_ shirt. Friends was the last thing that Emma wanted them to be, but looking into Regina's eyes, hearing her broken voice over the phone last night, made Emma confident that this wasn't it for them. Loving someone was hard, and Emma knew Regina had lost someone before, though she'd never gotten up the courage to ask her about it. But Regina was trying, she was offering Emma what she could, and Emma was willing to wait as long as it took for Regina to offer her everything. In the meantime though, friends didn't sound so bad.

"Ok," She finally nodded and Regina's relieved smile made Emma's smile widen, "I'd like that too," Regina nodded and got up.

"Great, good, that's," Regina said, her mood improved dramatically from when she had entered the diner, "How about a coffee?" Emma nodded and Regina waved Ruby over, gesturing Emma's now empty mug. When Ruby placed two empty mugs in front of them, filling them with coffee, Regina looked as if she were going to protest, but after a moments hesitation, simply sat back down, smiling brightly at Emma. Emma was still looking at Ruby, and when Ruby met her gaze, the sheriff asked the question that had been gnawing at her stomach since she'd seen Ruby wearing Regina's shirt.

_You fucked her didn't you?_

When Ruby jumped up to take an order from another customer, Emma could swear she heard the waitress answer.

_Yes._


	9. What Are You Doing Here?

**Chapter 9 – What Are You Doing Here?**

"I'm never watching that film again." Regina declared as the final credits of _The Lion King_ rolled across the television screen. Emma looked over Henry's head and smirked at Regina.

"Don't worry," She slid her hand over the back of the sofa and squeezed Regina's shoulder comfortingly, "I cried the first time too." Regina smiled a little uncomfortably and shifted away from Emma's touch. Emma's smile deflated and she bought her hand back to her side of the sofa.

Over the past few days of the two of them being 'friends', Emma had been overly gratuitous with touching Regina. Something that had not gone unnoticed by the mayor, and was making it hard for Regina to start getting over the blonde. It was partly her fault though, she knew she should be avoiding Emma as much as possible, but it seemed like she was using any excuse just to be around Emma, so when Henry had asked if the three of them could have a film night; Regina rationalised that it was so rare that Henry included her in anything nowadays, that she just had to agree.

"Someone's tired," Emma prodded Henry, who was stifling a yawn, which he'd been doing for the better part of the film. He looked wide-eyed and Emma and shook his head vigorously.

"Am no…" Another yawn, Emma raised her eyebrows at her son and looked up at Regina, sharing a knowing smile with her before swatting Henry gently on the head.

"C'mon, up," She said, "It's bedtime." Henry grumbled before rising from the sofa, stifling yet another yawn.

"Fine," He groused, "If you come read to me!" He smiled as wide as he could and clasped his hands together in a silent plea. Emma looked towards Regina, to ask permission, but the mayor wasn't looking at either of them. She was sat staring at the remote as her son played happy families with her…with Emma.

"Sure kid," Emma smiled up at him, "But Regina does the character's voices way better than I do," Regina looked up at Emma, tilting her head curiously. The sadness in Regina's eyes was haunting, and Emma almost wanted to shake Henry for hesitating at her suggestion.

"Ok," He said at last, and a tentative happiness washed over Regina's features. "Race you up there," and he took off through the doorway. Emma and Regina sat still on the sofa's for a moment, before Emma got that glint in her eye that let Regina now something childish was about to happen.

"Race you," Emma whispered, before she too jumped up from the sofa. Regina shook her head, smiling all she same, before she stood to follow the blonde, albeit at a much slower pace.

Henry was already changed and tucked under the covers when Regina got to his bedroom, Emma was half lying next to him on the bed, the book that Regina had come to loathe open in front of them. Regina stood awkwardly at the door, aware that she wasn't needed in this particular picture.

"You can't read if you're all the way over there," Emma said, gesturing with a pat on the bed next to Henry. Regina smiled slightly and moved to sit on the bed, turning so that she could lean slightly against the headboard, her feet still firmly on the carpeted floor. Emma frowned at Regina's uncomfortable poise; she hated that Regina felt so unwanted in her own son's bedroom. She looked down at Henry, who was staring at her expectantly. Sighing, Emma looked down at the book and she began to read.

* * *

The women walked back towards the TV room in silence. Henry had fallen asleep almost instantly, and Emma had offered to help clean up. Regina had accepted absentmindedly, not having listened to Emma's offer, she had just had to listen to Emma tell the story of Snow White, with Henry shooting an oh-so-subtle glare in her direction every time the words 'evil', 'queen' or 'stepmother' were mentioned.

They reached the TV room and Regina was on auto-pilot, clearing what was left of the film feast she had provided for the evening. Emma picked up the throw pillows from where Henry had discarded them and began to rearrange them on the sofa. She noticed a piece of popcorn on the sofa, where either she or Henry had dropped it. Looking towards Regina, noting the dejected expression, she picked up the kernel.

"Hey," Emma said, causing Regina to snap out of her memories and look at Emma just in time to see her hurl the piece of popcorn at her face. It caught Regina on her cheek, and fell to the floor. Scowling at the blonde, Regina bent the little bit extra from leaning over the coffee table to retrieve the morsel of food.

"You are a child," Regina sighed, dropping the popcorn into the half empty bowl and moving towards the kitchen. She closed her eyes and turned back around to face Emma as she felt another piece of popcorn hit the back of her head. "Miss Swan," another piece on her shoulder. "Miss Swan!" The last one landed in her mouth.

"She shoots," Emma shot her hands into the air, smiling proudly "She scores!" Emma picked up another piece of popcorn as Regina swallowed the piece that was in her mouth and grabbed to bowl from the table to keep Emma from retrieving anymore ammunition. Emma had grabbed a handful though, so the attempt was futile.

"Miss Swan," Regina looked at the piece of popcorn in Emma's aimed hand, throwing the blonde a warning look, "Do not," Regina didn't finish; the popcorn hit her square in the forehead and bounced onto the floor, the look on Regina's face caused Emma to erupt into giggles. Regina's eyes narrowed and she stepped into Emma's personal space, effectively making her stop laughing. Emma smirked at Regina instead, daring her to retaliate. Regina, never on to back down from a challenge, did just that, bringing the half-filled bowl of popcorn up above Emma's head, she upturned it and spilled its contents onto Emma's head.

"Mayor Mills!" Emma feigned a shocked gasp, "You are a child," She smirked, shaking slightly and letting popcorn fall to the floor. She scowled when Regina's only response was a hearty laugh. Emma was soon laughing along with her though, happy that her attempt to cheer the mayor up had worked. Regina smiled playfully at Emma when the laughing had simmered to giggling and scooted her backwards, squatting to put the empty bowl on the floor to start picking up popcorn, still giggling slightly.

Emma squatted down to help, the action causing her knee to knock against Regina's, pushing the mayor off balance and onto her arse. In the process of falling, Regina had grabbed for Emma to save herself, which only served to pull Emma forwards and onto her knees, so she was keeling in front of Regina, with their faces mere inches apart.

The giggling died down, until neither one of them made any sound. Regina was frozen, looking into Emma's eyes. Emma swallowed nervously, slowly bringing her face forward, searching Regina's expression for any request to stop.

"Gina?" Emma froze; Regina closed her eyes, relieved. Thanking herself for having the forethought to invite Ruby over when she knew Henry would be in bed, and Emma would be looking for excuses to stay. If she hadn't she would've let Emma kiss her, would've let Emma do a hell of a lot more than just that, and they'd be back at square one.

"In here Ruby," She called to the waitress in the foyer, shifting backwards and standing, brushing her skirt down as Ruby entered the room.

"What happened in here?" Ruby said, taking in the popcorn all over the floor, and Emma. Emma gritted her teeth and stood, not taking her eyes off of Regina, who was smiling as best she could at Ruby.

"We had an accident with the popcorn." Regina explained, "We were watching The Lion King," Ruby clasped her hands over her heart.

"Oh, I cry every time!" She said, making a puppy dog face and moving around the sofa towards Regina. She threw her arms around her neck and squeezed, causing Emma to glare at the waitress. It wasn't enough that the harlot was sleeping with her girlfriend, _ex-girlfriend,_ she apparently had to shove the fact down Emma's throat.

"I guess Henry's in bed." Ruby smiled, pulling a three DVD's from her bag, "I bought Friday the 13th, Evil Aliens and Child's Play." She threw the films onto the sofa and moved to start picking up popcorn.

"You don't have to do that," Regina protested, but Ruby shook her hand in Regina's general direction, still using her other to throw popcorn back into the bowl.

"You can make us some more," She said then looked up to Emma, "You watching with us Em?" The blonde nodded, smiling at Regina before crouching to help Ruby. She was well aware that Ruby hadn't come over just to watch films, and she'd have to be physically thrown out before she'd leave them to do what Ruby was planning on doing.

Regina looked warily at the girl's on her floor, noticing that Emma was being rather violent with throwing innocent pieces of popcorn into the bowl. Biting her lip, she hesitated before taking the rest of the rubbish into the kitchen and dumping it in the bin.

* * *

"I didn't know you liked horror films," Ruby said, after a long uncomfortable silence, she had known Emma was going to be there, Regina had explained why she needed her to come over so late when she'd invited her. She also expected Emma to leave when she got there, the blonde hadn't been very friendly with her as of late.

"What are you doing here?" Emma stopped clearing popcorn and glared at Ruby, who also stopped and frowned at Emma.

"Clearing popcorn," Ruby smiled, trying to quell the awkwardness of the situation, "Then watching films," Emma shook her head and stood, turning to look out of the window. Ruby continued to clear popcorn, glancing at the blonde every now and then. She looked towards the door leading to the kitchen, hoping Regina wouldn't be too long getting popcorn.

"You're fucking her," Ruby's head shoot around to look at Emma, who was still staring out of the window. Ruby's eyes were wide as she stood, putting her hands up defensively.

"No," She said, shaking her head slowly, "No, I'm not, we're…"

"Save it," Emma said, turning to look at Ruby, arms still folded. If looks could kill, they could also maim and torture. Ruby was pretty sure Emma would much prefer doing the latter to her right now. Emma walked towards Ruby, who took a step back when Emma came a little too close.

"You know she doesn't love you, right?" Emma whispered; malice laced in her tone. Ruby closed her eyes, she did know, and as much as that hurt, and _God_ did it fucking hurt, she also knew that Regina would never walk away from her. She'd never lose Regina as a friend, and that meant more to Ruby than having her as a lover.

"I know," The waitress whispered, Emma smirked cruelly, taking that little victory and pressing on.

"She doesn't really want you either," She said, Ruby stayed silent, opening her eyes to meet Emma's glare with one of her own, "She just wants a warm body that she can pretend with. For all intents and purposes, you're a whore." Ruby's eyes went wide and she stepped closer to Emma, her glare coming back tenfold when as she leaned towards the blonde.

"If she wants you so much," Ruby said, her voice cruel, "Why'd she dump you?" Tilting her head, as if she really didn't know the answer, she watched Emma's glare falter. She'd hit a nerve. "Why did she choose me?" Ruby dug the knife in, "Why am I here? Why was I here last night?" Ruby leant in further, so that her nose was touching Emma's, the blonde closed her eyes, trying not to hear what Ruby was saying "And the night before?" Ruby wasn't lying; she had been at Regina's for the last few nights. He tone however, heavily implied that they'd done more than simply watch TV or talk over a few drinks, "And the night you told her you'd wait? Why…" Ruby didn't get to finish her sentence, Emma had had enough. Her eyes still closed, her fist flew through the air and connected satisfyingly with a jaw bone.

"Gina!" Emma opened her eyes at Ruby's startled gasp, finding Regina with her hands clasped over her face on the floor. Regina had entered the room in time to see Emma's fist flying at Ruby, and had tried to stop Ruby from getting hit; unwittingly allowing herself to take the punch instead. "What the hell!" Ruby glared at Emma, hurriedly helping Regina back to her feet.

"Gina," Emma stepped towards Regina, hands held out, staring to apologise. Regina shook her head and stepped away from the blonde. "I didn't mean to…"

"No, you meant to hit her," Regina gestured towards Ruby, "Which makes it all ok." Her tone dripped with sarcasm as she opened and shut her mouth a few times, testing her jaw to make sure it wasn't broken. Thankfully, Emma wasn't that good a hit as Regina thought she was.

"No, I,"

"No?" Regina looked curiously at Emma, "You're fist moved on its own accord? You should get that checked by a doctor Miss Swan," Ruby was still inspecting Regina's jaw, when her fingers came into contact with the red mark, Regina flinched in pain. Emma's stomach clenched and she once again tried to step towards Regina.

"I think you should leave, Miss Swan," Regina's eyes glistened, taking in the sincere regret painted across Emma's face. She had a fair idea of why Emma had lashed out at Ruby, and she knew it was mostly her fault. Emma was jealous, and if Regina hadn't led her to believe that she and Ruby were an item, that wouldn't be an issue.

"Gina," Emma tried again, desperately apologising with her eyes.

"Now," Regina almost shouted at her, Emma dropped her hands, which had still been outstretched to reach Regina, and nodded, looking down at the carpet.

"I'm sorry," She whispered, shuffling her feet on the carpet for a few seconds, before dejectedly heading for the door. When she got to the hallway, Emma looked back to see Regina staring after her, her expression heartbreakingly forlorn, when Ruby reappeared, holding out an icepack, Emma turned her back on the pair and made her way out of the mayor's house.

* * *

**A/N - I think the ending seems a bit rushed, thoughts?**


	10. It Hurts

**A/N - I rewrote this chapter because I didn't like the previous version - ended up going in a completely different direction.**

* * *

**Chapter 10 – It Hurts**

Regina leant against the marble wall of her father's grave, allowing her legs to give out, sliding to a sitting position, her knees pressed under her chin. She flinched as her knee brushed her bruised jaw but didn't move. She felt her phone vibrate in her jeans pocket, not bothering to check the caller ID, she knew it was Emma; the sheriff had been calling her almost non-stop since she'd woken up this morning. She was trying to apologise for last night, but she shouldn't have to. The only reason Regina go hit, was Regina.

The mayor had made a bad situation worse because of her own selfishness. Emma thought she loved Regina, and in this world, what Emma felt probably was love. But that was unacceptable, so she'd asked Emma to be friends, because even though being around her hurt, not having anything to do with her would be so much worse. Last night, getting hit was Regina's fault, and she deserved it.

So she'd run to her father again, because that's what she always did, because Daddy made it better. Accept with Daniel, he didn't, couldn't make that better. If he couldn't then, how could he now? How could he make anything better when his heart was cinders on a bonfire in another world?

"I screwed up," Regina whispered into the air, wondering how things had gotten so bad in a matter of weeks. "I love her." He already knew that, she'd told him every Wednesday since she'd admitted it to herself. But she told him again anyway, because she told him everything, and she hadn't told him the rest of it yet.

"She loves me too," Regina closed her eyes leaning her head back against the cool marble, hearing that cruel voice that had been whispering in the back of her head ever since she'd kissed Emma for the first time reminding her _she doesn't love you_. "Not true love, but she thinks it is," She couldn't tell her father anything more, because she couldn't tell herself. So she skipped to the excuse she'd been using instead. "We'd be home if it was."

Emma loved her, in a way that was real and magical and all of the things that true love felt like, but it would go away. It would fade. Not today; not next week, maybe not even next year, but the feeling would fade until she didn't think of Regina all the time, she didn't feel sick when she thought about other people touching her. That wasn't true love.

True love never went away; it was end game. You have one true love, and once you find them, you will never care for anybody else even a half as much as you care for them. True love stays with you until you die, probably even after that.

"I love Daniel," Half admitting the real reason for all of this; not quite saying that by loving Emma, she was betraying Daniel. By saying she loved Emma; she was saying that what she felt for Daniel was what Emma felt for her. Real, and magical and wonderful, but not true. Her feelings for Daniel didn't go away, but they faded, when Emma came into her life, the idea of being with someone who wasn't Daniel didn't seem so nauseating anymore.

"It hurts Daddy," Regina echoed the words she had whispered to her father so many years ago, watching a wooden box disappear under shovels of earth. It hurt that she was betraying the a man who had done nothing but love her, it hurt that Emma didn't love her anywhere near as much as Regina loved Emma, it hurt that her father wasn't here to make it all better, it hurt that that was her fault. It just hurt.

"When did everything get so fucked?" Regina rarely swore, but she couldn't find any other adjective that described the situation more accurately. For the first time since she got here, Regina felt the very real desire to be at home. She just wanted her father to put her arms around her and tell her that everything would be ok; that she could be happy.

"I just wanted to be happy," Regina sob-snorted, looking up at the ceiling, every time she tried to be happy, somebody got hurt. Whenever she tried to look after just herself, her feelings, someone else had to be in pain. Daniel had to die because she wanted to be happy, Emma was unhappy because of Regina. "Maybe Henry was right; I'm not allowed a happy ending."

"That's not true," Regina didn't look away from the spot on the ceiling, didn't move as Emma came further into the mausoleum to sit with her. They sat in silence for a while, Emma close enough that her knee brushed against Regina's. Emma was staring at her jaw; Regina could feel her eyes on the ugly purple bruise, amateurly hidden with foundation and concealer. "Does it hurt?"

"Not as much as the bite," Regina smiled slightly, still not looking at Emma, unconsciously grazing her hand over the still healing wound on her shoulder. Emma's expression became even more forlorn as she remembered that night.

"I'm sorry," Emma said, stretching out her legs and looking at her hands, Regina shook her head, keeping her gaze on the ceiling.

"Don't," She whispered, "I deserved it, both times," now it was Emma shaking her head, she turned so that she was kneeling, facing Regina.

"No, you didn't." She grabbed Regina's hand and held it with both of hers, willing Regina to look at her, she didn't. "I'm not trying to replace him," she said, her voice solemn and earnest, apparently Emma had been listening to Regina talk to herself for a while before speaking up.

"Who said you could?" Anger shot through Regina, but it was directed at herself; Emma wasn't trying to replace him, wasn't trying to make Regina care for her more than she'd cared for him, it was just happening. That wasn't Emma's fault.

"No one," Emma soothed, "I just meant," She didn't know what she meant, she had just wanted Regina to stop crying, she wanted to make it better. "You're not betraying him by being with me," she said, gently placing her hand over Regina's chin, pulling her face down so that she could look into her eyes.

"Yes I am," Regina was expressionless, if it weren't for the blackened tear tracks running down her cheeks; you wouldn't know she had been crying, "This," Regina threw her hands up, "All of this was for him," How could she justify any of this if Daniel wasn't her true love? Daniel died because of her.

"If he loved you…"

"He loved me," Regina insisted, her voice venomous, Emma held up her hands, wanting to slap herself for her choice of words.

"Then he'd want you to be happy," She leaned towards Regina, maintaining eye contact as she bought tilted her head to bring her lips closer to Regina's. "You deserve to be happy." Regina turned her head away, so that Emma kissed her on the jaw. She winced from the pain; Emma pulled back and bit her lip. "Seriously!"

"I can't," Regina said, "We need to stop, because I can't Emma," She looked back at Emma, tears starting to fall again. She'd called her Emma, her voice was hoarse from crying, and she sounded so broken, but she'd called her Emma. Tears welled up in Emma's eyes as she looked at Regina, thinking about her 'super power' that let her see when people were lying; wishing that Regina was lying right now.

"But you want to," Emma could see it in her eyes, in the hand that Regina was letting Emma cling to, but no matter how much Regina truly wanted to be with Emma, emotionally, physically, she just couldn't. Daniel had been the only person in her life that had loved her with no obligation to. He was willing to run away, leave his family, his life behind because he loved her; he died because he loved her, truly loved her. She couldn't stand the thought that he had died in vain; for a love that would fade eventually, maybe not ever really go away, but dim enough for her to love someone else.

"I can't." Regina said again, looking down and clutching the ring around her neck tightly. Emma nodded, looking at Regina's hand, through it and at the ring it was holding.

"I know," She bought Regina's face up again; she held Regina's face in place as she gently kissed her one last time. "I know," She whispered again as she pulled away, she stood on shaky legs, and left the mausoleum, not letting go of Regina's hand until she absolutely had to.


	11. Faults

**Chapter 11 – Faults**

Emma sat on her bed, tears silently falling down her cheeks as she let everything catch up to her. Up until a few minutes ago, she had been hastily throwing what little she had into a suitcase she had picked up on the way back from the cemetery and trying not to cry. Then she'd come across the photo of Regina and her apple tree, the forced smile that usually adorned her face was gone, her features were much softer, happier. It was one of the only times Emma had ever seen Regina like that. Regina had told Emma that she felt happy with Henry, but the blonde suspected that since the whole curse thing started up, Henry had been hurting Regina more than anything else.

The photo was taken the day Emma had decided to tell Regina she wanted more, from her, from their relationship. Emma had taken her against the apple tree, in the middle of the day when Henry was at school and no one was around. Regina had divulged that it had been a fantasy of hers for a long time, and after Regina had returned the favour, Emma had changed the rules. Emma had unwittingly put them on a path that would end with Regina, breaking down by her father's grave and Emma having to leave her there.

* * *

"_I'm going to cook something," She'd said as she followed Regina into the house, Regina's head snapped round to look at her curiously, her hair was still dishevelled and her skirt hadn't been pulled all the way down, but she still managed to look intimidating. "You go do your mayor thing and I'll have lunch ready in a bit."_

"_Miss Swan," Regina sighed, raking her hand through her hair._

"_Mayor Mills," Emma replied, placing her hands on Regina's hips and bringing them closer so that they were pressed against each other, "I want to do this,"_

"_You want to make lunch?" Regina tried to gain some control over the situation, already knowing what Emma was asking, and knowing she'd give it to her._

"_No, not lunch," Emma smiled slipping her hands around Regina's back and burying her face in the crook of her neck, moving her eyes to look at Regina's profile, "Us, I want more."_

* * *

"Emma?" Emma was pulled from her memories by Henry's voice at her doorway; she blinked a couple times, her vision as blurry. She had been crying. She didn't look up at her roommate, just continued to stare at the picture in her hand. "What're you doing?"

"I'm going away for a few days," It wasn't technically a lie, she was going away, it would just be for a little longer than a few days, maybe a lot longer. She'd come back eventually of course, she didn't have the strength not to.

"What?" Henry rushed over to Emma, who quickly slipped the photo she was holding into the pocket of her leather jacket. "You can't leave! The curse, you have to stop the Evil Queen!" Emma half laughed, half sobbed and shook her head, looking up from her lap into her son's, _their_ son's eyes.

"It's not forever kid, I'm coming back." Emma took his hands in hers, ignoring the Evil Queen part of Henry's protest, if she could keep Regina out of this conversation…

"But she's evil!" Emma sighed, so much for that, and Henry shook her hands, as if that would make her understand. "She's evil and you can't leave me with her." Emma looked back at her lap, the tears starting to well up in Henry's eyes as his expression turned into the same pleading look that Regina had given her in the cemetery, begging for her to just understand, washed over his features. It was too much.

"She's not evil Henry," Emma said, willing herself not to cry again before facing Henry again, "She's just…" _Lonely, scared, broken, all of the above?_

"She did something didn't she?" Henry dropped Emma's hands, realisation washing over his face, "She poisoned you; gave you a potion or something to make you leave!" Emma shook her head tiredly, '_She didn't make me fall in love kid, that was all me.' _"Don't worry, you're strong. You can fight it." Oh God, she was so done with fighting.

"She didn't give me anything Henry," Emma sighed, "A friend needs me; I have to leave." That was true, Regina was a friend, and she needed Emma to leave just as much as the blonde herself needed to get away. "I'm coming back though kid," Emma stood, placing her hands over Henry's shoulders and hoping that Henry could see reassurance in her face, past her glistening eyes and cheeks marred with dried tears and mascara.

Henry shook his head, frowning as he let tears fall. He lunged the few inches between himself and Emma, squeezing his arms tightly around Emma's stomach, crying into her jacket.

"Please," Henry said, as Emma circled his head with her arms, "Don't go, whatever she did to you we can fix. We can't let her win. She has to pay for what she did, I hate her." Emma pulled Henry away from her, squeezing a little tighter on his shoulders, she bent down and looked at Henry, a fire had sprung up behind her eyes.

"Don't you ever say that Henry," She practically growled, Henry looked shocked for a moment, "All Regina has ever done is be there for you for your whole life." Henry scowled, opening his mouth to protest before Emma continued anyway, "She's fed you, she'd cleaned you; she'd clothed you. She taught you how to walk and talk, she was there every time you were sick or angry or upset. She's endured this Evil Queen crap for a hell of a lot longer than I would have, she's never hurt you and she never would, and if anyone ever did she'd go after them with all she had because that's what moms do," Emma dropped her hands from Henry's shoulders, "Because she loves you kid."

"She doesn't!" Henry shouted at Emma, "She pretends to love me, that's all." He gets quieter before he delivers a final blow, "I guess you're pretending too." Emma felt like she'd been punched in the gut.

"We both love you kid, I love you." Emma tried to reach out for him again but Henry jerked away for her touch like it burned.

"Then don't leave." He was back to begging, and Emma couldn't say a word. She just looked sadly down at her son and shook her head, her mouth open to let out words that just wouldn't come. "Fine," Henry shouted, running out of her room, it only took Emma a moment to take off after him.

"Henry," She called, she heard the door slam when she was halfway down the stairwell. That kid was fast, and by the time she got out onto the street, Henry was gone and Mary Margaret was walking towards her.

"I just saw Henry, what happened?" Mary Margaret said, taking in Emma's crestfallen appearance.

"He's angry because I'm leaving," Emma said when her words came back, Mary Margaret looked shocked, she looked pointedly at Emma, expecting her to elaborate, but all Emma did was turn and head back inside.

"Leaving!" Mary Margaret prompted Emma to continue when they got back into the apartment. "What did Regina do, did she threaten you?" Emma slammed her hand down on the kitchen counter, making Mary Margaret jump. Apparently everything bad that ever happened in Storybrooke was all Regina's fault, and Emma was sick of it.

"I'm leaving," Emma hissed, "On my own accord, I am choosing to leave. How the fuck is that Regina's fault?" It was Emma that hadn't let Regina just break up with her, Emma had made a bad situation worse by being selfish.

"I…" Mary Margaret started, but Emma put up a hand to stop her.

"Don't." Emma shook her head, grabbing the bottle of Jack Daniels she'd bought with the suitcase and rummaging through the cupboards for a glass.

"Fine," Mary Margaret watched Emma pour a healthy amount of whiskey into a tumbler glass and gulp it down, instantly pouring herself another. "I'm going to go and find Henry seeing as you're just going to sit here and get drunk."

"I'm the last person he wants to talk to right now," Emma said, closing her eyes as Mary Margaret slammed to front door in much the same fashion as Henry had. Henry was fine, he'd go home or to his castle, and someone would find him because this wasn't that big a town, and all she'd do is make it worse. Pouring herself her third drink, Emma gulped it down, her face contorting slightly at the taste, and abandoned the glass in the sink, choosing to take the more direct approach, she raised the neck of the bottle to her lips, tipped her head back and swallowed.


	12. You're Hurting Me

**Chapter 12 – You're Hurting Me**

"What did you do?" Regina had barely made it through the front door of her home before Henry had started shouting. After he left Mary Margaret's he'd gone straight back to the house to confront Regina; only she wasn't there, so he'd sat in wait, getting exponentially angrier as he turned over his thoughts in his head. He didn't bother to wait for her to shut the door, didn't take in the dust from the floor of the mausoleum that covered her hands, clothes and face, the way her cheeks were reddened from scrubbing tears and mascara away, he just yelled.

"What're you talking about dear?" Regina asked, removing her coat and placing it in the cupboard before walking over to Henry, who was stood on the stairwell, equalling out their height. Worry clouded Regina's features as she took in Henry's appearance, he had clearly been crying for a while.

"Emma!" Regina closes her eyes, of course this has something to do with Emma, she bites her lip as Henry continues; "You poisoned her didn't you?" He yells and tears starts streaming down his face yet again, Regina's eyes fly open and shock adorns her features.

"Poisoned her?" She searched her thoughts for anything that could have happened to make Henry think that, if Emma collapsed, if she got hurt, _Oh God, _Regina stepped closer to Henry, placing her hands on his shoulders, "Henry, what happened to Emma?"

"Like you don't know," Henry was still yelling, still crying as he jerked away from Regina's touch, "You're making her leave!"

"Leave?" Regina shook her head, tears springing to her eyes as she took in Henry's anger-reddened cheeks wet with salty tears. "She's leaving Storybrooke?" Regina voice was barely above a whisper as she tried to imagine the town without Emma; then imagining Storybrooke _with_ Emma but still without her in so many ways. She would take the latter in an instant, no matter how much it hurt, Emma being gone would hurt worse.

"You know she is," Henry screamed, "You're the one making her go!" Regina was still shaking her head as Henry stormed down the few steps to glare up at her; she tried to hug her son, _their_ son, tried to make it better even though she knew she couldn't. Being rewarded with a sharp punch to the stomach, she barely noticed it, still trying to process what Henry had just told her. Emma was leaving, and she might never come back. "This is your fault, you're evil," Henry's fist came down again, like it had done so many times before, temper tantrums that turned into small, soft fists tapping her stomach for a few seconds until Regina circled her arms around him in a tight, reassuring hug, making Henry's misplaced anger dissipate.

"Henry," Regina was still barely even whispering, and she winced as his fists started to rain down faster on her stomach, she endured it, circling her arms around Henry like she always had done, waiting for the usual ceasefire; when Henry would stop fighting and fall into her like he had done so many times before, and she would whisper soothing nonsense while he cried and told her what was wrong. Waiting for it even as she realised it wouldn't come. All of those tantrums before, before the book, before Emma, those times he hadn't meant it, hadn't meant to hurt her. This time, he wasn't going to stop.

"I hate you," Henry yelled through sobs, over and over again, cutting into Regina as she pulled him closer still, trying to make it better, because she was his mother, she was supposed to keep anything bad from ever happening to Henry. "I hate you, I hate you," The punches became harder, Henry was stronger than he looked and his blows were always in the same place and each one hurt Regina. It had never hurt before.

"Henry," Regina said it much louder this time, grabbing his arms and pulling him away from her, she bent down to look at him, keeping her hands on his arms to ensure he wouldn't hit her again. She winced as her stomach protested to sudden movement. Emma was leaving; she was leaving Storybrooke, leaving her, leaving her son. Nothing she said to Henry would change that, nothing would make what Henry was feeling go away.

"It won't work, Emma_ will_ come back," Henry struggled in her grip, "Good always wins, evil always dies!" He'd never told her evil died before, evil just lost because Henry wanted her to lose. Telling her evil died…

Henry hadn't stopped yelling, telling Regina all of the reasons that she was awful, most of them being about Emma or the Evil Queen. Regina let him yell, let him get it all out because he'd feel so much better once he had, keeping a grip on his arms to stop him from physically lashing out again. Her stomach already felt tender, and it was probably going to be sporting a bruise to match her face tomorrow.

"Let go of me!" Regina's grip was loose enough for him to get free, but not to get closer to Regina in case he hurt her, which is what, right in this moment, Henry really wanted to do. He wanted revenge, "You're hurting me." He made his voice as small as he possibly could and Regina dropped his arms instantly; her eyes going wide, bile rising up in her throat.

Henry's expression became smug as he tried to cover a smile. He knew that Regina was going to over react, to apologise a thousand times and give him whatever he wanted. He had said those exact words when he was five and had run into the road, Regina had pulled him back sharply, too worried to let him go straight away. She'd gripped his arm a little tighter than necessary in her panic, and Henry had whined that it hurt, Regina had dropped his arm instantaneously, with that exact same expression on her face and they'd gone to get ice cream and comic books and anything else Henry had wanted for the whole day. She'd apologised non-stop until Henry had gone to bed, and he suspected she'd continued to apologise afterwards.

He had forgotten that his arm had hurt almost as soon as he said it; he'd told Regina as much, but that didn't matter. Regina had hurt him, unwittingly and his arm had been more uncomfortable than hurt, but that didn't matter; she'd still gone out of her way to make it not have happened, to make sure she hadn't meant it, that she wasn't becoming her,

_"Mama please, it hurts"_

"I…" Regina moved her gaze to look, wide-eyed at Henry, who shook his head, tears still streaming down his face as he spoke over his mother.

"That's all you ever do," This wasn't about getting what he wanted this time, this was about desperately wanting to hurt Regina for what she was doing to Emma; to him. Henry saw Regina flinch as his words hit her harder than he ever physically could. He turned and walked away, leaving Regina alone in the hallway, staring at nothing as memories of a childhood in another world flooded her mind.

_"You must be obedient, child" "Why can you not do anything right?" "No one could ever love you," "You bought this on yourself," "You deserve nothing better than what I give you," "Don't cry dear, it's pathetic," "Weakness is not tolerated in this household," "Stand up Regina," "I said, get up you pathetic little girl," "Leave her Henry, she has to learn," "Insolent little girl," "You will be punished," "Be a good girl for Mama sweetheart," _

She'd hurt her son. She'd done the one thing she swore to herself, to her father, to her mother, to anyone who would listen that she'd never do. Regina grabbed the waste paper basket by the door just in time to empty the contents of her stomach into it. She clenched her fists, as throwing up turned into dry heaves and dry heaves turned into sobbing hiccups. She walked through into the kitchen and threw the basket into the bin; she was in a daze as she walked back up through the hallway into her office, closing the door behind her tightly.

_"You'll grow up to be just like me Regina,"_

_ "I'll never be like you,"_

She grabbed the first thing she could get her hands on and flung it against the wall, watching as the ornamental glass apple shattered on impact, sprinkling deep red glass shards onto the floor. Walking over to her desk, she drew her arms across the top, pushing everything onto the floor, important papers, her laptop, pens, an apple, a photo of herself and Henry when he was younger smashed as it hit the ground.

She kicked the laptop for good measure, her heel slipping off in the process. She grabbed a large book from the coffee table and threw it as hard as she could down onto her desk, watching in fascination as glass smashed and rained around her feet. She moved to the lamp on the small table by the sofa. She tossed it against the wall; which was the same fate that became of anything else she could pick up easily. She didn't stop, she flew through her office, smashing and hurling and destroying everything she could as she willed the voice in her head to stop.

_"You're hurting me,"_

_ "Just like me Regina,"_

She'd hurt him, she'd physically caused her son pain. Apples flew at the wall, the sofa was pushed over onto its front and the blanket that had been stuffed underneath it was kicked at far as it would go. The drinks cart was quickly toppled over, apple cider spilling all over the floor. She barely registered the pain from the sharp shards of glass desktop or drinks bottles embedded in her skin as she continued to tear her office apart.

She was stopped dead when she caught sight of herself in the mirror, which by some miracle was still hanging on the wall. For a split second, as she'd passed the mirror, seeing it only out of her peripheral vision, it hadn't been her standing there, with blood trickling down her face, mingling with tears and mascara, it had been _her_. For a moment, a horrible, painful, nauseating moment, Regina had been her mother. She felt bile rise up in her throat again.

She stared wide eyed, as her reflection stared back at her, cruel and mocking and everything that she hated about her mother; she shut her eyes tight, hoping that when she opened them, the face in the mirror wouldn't bear any resemblance to her mother at all. That she would open her eyes to find Regina, Daniel's Regina, staring back at her.

She heard laughter in her head, cruel and joyless. She heard her mother singing to Henry, reading him the story of Snow white. She closed her eyes and she saw Cora teaching Henry to be obedient, and then it was Regina who was standing over the little boy. She opened her eyes, rage boiling inside her as she bent to grab something, anything from the floor and hurled it at the mirror. At the reflection that was neither Daniel's true love, nor Cora. It had been Regina, standing alone in her demolished office. The glass shattered along with her reflection and Regina fell, sobbing, to the floor.


	13. Please Hurt Me

**Chapter 13 – Please Hurt Me**

Emma heard the smash of glass as she stumbled, drunkenly up the pathway to Regina's house. She had decided, with the help of alcohol, that she was going to tell Regina she was leaving, say goodbye rather than run away like a child. The smashing worried her and she stumbled faster, her heart rate picking up as she realised the door was slightly ajar. Rushing inside, Emma called out, her voice slurring even just one word.

"Gina?" No one responded. She stood in the entranceway for a moment, listening for any sounds at all. A muffled sobbing was coming from behind the closed doors of Regina's office. Tentatively, Emma knocked on the door and tried pushing it open; it was locked.

"Gina?" She knocked again, a little louder; she pressed her ear to the door as the sobbing stopped. She heard movement, as if Regina was wading through a sea of broken glass, which, unbeknownst to Emma; the mayor practically was. Emma drew her head back and was about to knock again when the office door flew open. A gasp escaped her lips as Emma took in the mayor, her clothing rumpled and torn in places, her hair a mess and dozens of tiny lacerations adorning her bare arms and legs. Even with tears streaming down her face, Regina looked pissed off. It only took a second for Emma to realise that the mayor's anger was directed at her.

"Regi…" Regina lunged at her, grabbing both sides of her face with her hands and mashing their faces together violently. Emma let out a startled grunt as Regina pushed her backwards, slamming her into the wall. Emma stood, slumped against the wall, Regina kissing her hard, her arms limp by her sides as she tried to process what was happening.

When Regina bit down, a little harder than necessary, Emma was startled out of her ragdoll stance. She grabbed Regina's hips, to push her away, but ended up pulling her closer when Regina moaned into her mouth. With the alcohol in her system convincing her that this wasn't a terrible idea, she started to move her lips in tandem with Regina's, letting the mayor swipe her tongue over her bottom lip, before gently massaging it with her own.

Regina's hands moved to cover Emma's own, she bought them up to her breasts and Emma got the message, she gently began to squeeze as Regina pulled Emma's tank top out of her jeans. Mumbling something that Emma didn't quite catch before resuming the kissing, Regina tugged Emma forwards, away from the wall. Still attached via their mouths, Regina lead them up the stairs, having to mostly carry Emma, who was never the most coordinated drunk.

Regina broke the kiss when they got to the landing, opening her door quickly and pulling Emma into the familiar bedroom before the blonde could find her bearings. Regina quickly shut the door and pulled Emma towards her, backing them up so that she was pinned under Emma on her bed. Then they were kissing again, and Emma's hands started to move of their own accord, not needing Regina to guide them to the waistband of the mayor's jeans. Pulling the turtle neck she was wearing up, Regina lifted her arms to help Emma remove the shirt and tossed it aside when Emma bought her lips back to hers.

Emma's tank top was discarded in the same fashion and Regina forcefully pushed the blonde's jeans down around her ankles, along with her panties. Emma moaned as cool air hit her already over heated sex. She undid the button on Regina's jeans and pulled them down, Regina's eyes never leaving hers. She kissed her again when it looked like Regina was going to say something.

She didn't want to stop and think, didn't want Regina to suddenly realise this was a bad idea, she wanted to say goodbye properly, and inebriation had caused her to decide that this was a good, albeit selfish, way to do that. She wanted to touch Regina like she'd never be able to again, wanted to hold her and kiss her and love her one more time before she had to leave.

Emma released Regina's lips and trailed kisses along her jaw, down her neck and stopping dead when her lips touched the slightly raise, reddened flesh of a bite mark. Emma pulled away, staring wide eyed at the map of her teeth on Regina's shoulders.

"Miss Swan," Regina's voice was hard, but still so vulnerable as she tried to pull Emma back down, she couldn't have Emma thinking, didn't want her to realise this was probably a bad idea. She knew Emma was leaving in the morning, but just for tonight Regina needed her here.

Regina pulled Emma's head down to kiss her again. Her hands started to wander, trailing idle patterns along Emma's skin. The familiar feeling made Emma moan and Regina's fingernails bit into the soft skin of Emma's back. Emma gasped as Regina dragged her hands down, burning a trail to the small of her back.

"Regina," Emma's voice was thick with lust, still slurred and Regina shook her head. She grabbed Emma's hands from where they were leaning on the mattress either side of Regina's head, making Emma topple fully onto Regina as the mayor bought her hands down to her thighs, making Emma's own, shorter nails dig in to Regina's flesh.

"Please," Regina looked up at her, her voice hard but still so vulnerable, she buried her face into Emma's neck as she whispered her plea for Emma to punish her, for hurting Henry, for hurting Emma, for being weak, for not being good enough, "Hurt me, Miss Swan," Emma's eyes went wide as Regina pushed her nails deeper into the flesh of her own thighs. It wasn't the first time Regina had asked for this, but she had never sounded so desperate before, never sounded like she _needed_ it.

Emma closed her eyes and nodded almost unnoticeably, and shook Regina's hands off of her own. She raked her fingernails down the sides of Regina's legs to the backs of her knees, forcibly pulling them apart as far as they would go. Regina closed her eyes, relishing the pain. _You're pathetic._

Emma pushed Regina further up the bed, so that she could settle in between her spread thighs, falling heavily on top of her; Emma nipped sharply at Regina's lips, almost drawing blood, then moved down her jaw, following the trail she'd just kissed until she reaches the valley between Regina's breasts. Swallowing hard, Emma took a deep breath and bit Regina's nipple, pulling it up with her mouth; hating the squeal that escaped Regina's lips, making her sound so unlike herself. _No one will ever love you_.

Emma replaced her mouth with her hands, squeezing both of Regina's breasts hard, massaging to the point where she was sure her fingers would leave bruises. She kissed and licked her way down Regina's stomach, only dragging her nails down to meet her mouth when she got to the darks curls between Regina's thighs. _Stop crying dear, it's a sign of weakness._

Tears sprung to Regina's eyes when Emma blew cool breath onto her sex before bringing her mouth down to bite down hard on her clit. Regina's back arched and her hips jolted as Emma swept her tongue over the throbbing bundle in between her teeth. She forced her eyes upwards, to look at Regina, who was silently crying and gripping the covers to stop herself from yelling out. Emma pulled away, kissing Regina's clit gently as she moved to soothe Regina.

"No," Regina looked at her, the pain in her eyes bringing tears to Emma's eyes. "Please," and she sounded so young, so afraid that Emma couldn't do anything but what she asked. She leant back into Regina, bringing her mouth to cover her sex and plunging inside of her with no warning. Regina groaned and pushed Emma's hands into her skin, Emma reluctantly squeezed her nails into the pale flesh below her palm, feeling sick when she felt her nails moisten with what she could only assume was blood. _Stop snivelling Regina._

Emma traced the alphabet with her tongue inside Regina, keeping her eyes shut tight as she raked her nails down her thighs again and again, harder each time. Regina started to whimper, the pain becoming almost unbearable even as she urged Emma to continue. _You deserve this._

Emma could feel Regina getting closer to falling off the edge, and slowed down, tracing the scratch marks she'd just made gently, soothing the angry flesh and she kissed her way back up Regina's stomach, gently pushing two fingers inside of her. Emma kissed her forehead and Regina, her eyes closed tightly and her head turned away from Emma, urged the other two of Emma's fingers inside of her, feeling herself stretch painfully to accommodate her. _No one to blame but yourself dear._

Regina rocked her hips onto Emma's fingers as her hand moved Emma's for her. Emma felt bile rise in her throat as Regina's features contorted in pain. Still, she bought Regina's hand away and straddled her again, her hand between Regina's legs pumping into her roughly. Regina whimpered and moaned as she pulled Emma's face down into a hard kiss, then buried her face in the crook of the blonde's neck as the pain gave way to orgasm.

Emma kept pumping in and out of Regina as her moans became sobs and the blood oozing from scratches stuck to Emma's leg. Emma's name became a mantra as Regina rode out waves of pleasure, even as her mind pleaded with a woman that wasn't at all Emma. _I'm sorry sweetie, you know why I had to do this don't you?_

_ "Yes, Mama,"_


	14. Leaving

**Chapter 14 – Leaving**

Emma woke up at around five am, she felt pleasantly sore all over and her head was pounding like a bitch, as she opened her eyes, she squinted in confusion, wondering why she wasn't at Mary Margaret's. A sense of déjà vu came over her as she opened her eyes to find that Regina wasn't there; just a neatly folded pile of Emma's clothes on the armchair, and a glass of water and two painkillers on the bedside table. She had woken up to exactly the same situation she'd woken up to all those months ago, the morning after one too many glasses of wine.

This time though, Emma didn't stay in bed waiting for Regina to come back. She knew she wouldn't. So she dry swallowed the pills and gulped down the water, waiting until the pounding in her head became a little more than a thudding, making it less painful to move. She made to get out of bed reluctantly, melancholy washing over her as she realised that whatever she did now, in Regina's bedroom, it would be the last time she did it.

Snippets of last night ran through Emma's thoughts as she tried to figure out how she had gotten to Regina's. Standing up, Emma shivered as the duvet fell back onto the bed, exposing her bare body to the cool early morning air coming in through the window. She closed it slowly, trying not to make too much noise, and started to get dressed. It wasn't until she pulled the duvet cover back up, to make the bed a little presentable at least, that she noticed the blood; blood that she had drawn with her bare hands; Regina's blood. Guilt, shame and alcohol pushed bile up Emma's throat, and she only just made it to the bathroom.

* * *

It was five forty five when Emma finally made it downstairs. The door to Regina's office was open, revealing the broken room to Emma for the second time. She didn't pause to question what had happened, she headed straight for the door, the sound of movement in the kitchen making her hesitate. Resting her head on the cool doorframe, Emma let herself remember Regina, stood with her back to Emma as sunlight streamed through the window, gently washing away lipstick from wine glasses. Emma had smirked at the torn blouse Regina had been wearing, which had been thrown into the rubbish bin haphazardly.

She had hesitantly walked up to her, standing awkwardly behind her, not knowing what to do. Wanting to hug her, to reassure Regina, and maybe herself, that the night before hadn't been a one night thing. Regina had sensed her presence, and with all the condescension and pretentiousness that Emma hated, that wasn't Regina at all, she had told her to "Get dressed Miss Swan, don't be here when Henry wakes up," and Emma had done just that, without a word she'd turned and left the kitchen. She hadn't spoken to Regina again that day.

The memory made Emma stand up straight again, turn around and half march into the kitchen. There stood Regina, in the exact same position, washing what looked like the exact same wine glasses. Regina visibly tensed when she heard Emma coming, but continued as if she hadn't heard her, hoping she would turn around and leave. Emma didn't though, and this time around, she didn't hesitate to walk up behind Regina and hug her tightly. The mayor froze her eyes going wide as Emma whispered pleadingly.

"Just, give me a minute," Biting her lip, Regina nodded almost unnoticeably and resumed the washing up. Emma just watched in silence as Regina's hands dipped in and out of the soapy water. They stayed like that, letting themselves be in that moment; forgetting the last few weeks and just being with each other for the very last time.

"I'm leaving," Emma had to force the words out, gripping Regina tighter as the words fell from her mouth; with what Emma thought was an audible thud onto the floor. Regina's posture straightened so that she was no longer leaning into Emma. She coughed slightly, but Emma didn't let go, she still needed a minute. Regina wanted to tell her not to ever let go; to tell her to disregard everything and anything she said in the last few weeks and just stay and be with her. She wanted to tell her that no matter how much Emma being here hurt, Emma being even an inch out of Storybrooke would hurt so much more.

"I know," Was what she said instead. She thought about the first time they had ended up in bed together, how the morning after she'd been stood like this; how much she had wanted Emma to circle her arms around her, to reassure her that the blonde hadn't only wanted a one night stand. Thought about how the only reason she told her to leave was because, even then she was beginning to fall for Emma.

"What happened to your office?" Emma asked, simply for something to say, so that she wouldn't start to cry. Regina shrugged slightly, going back to concentrating on cleaning dishes for the same reason.

"You're leaving," It was the simplest answer, the answer she was comfortable with giving. Maybe one day, she'd have been able to tell Emma about her mother; like she hadn't been able to tell Daniel. That one day would never happen now though, and Regina, with all the awful things she as feeling, felt a sense of relief that it wouldn't come. That she hadn't betrayed Daniel and that she'd given Emma the chance to find her _true_ love. These rationalisations stopped Regina from turning in Emma's arms and kissing her when the blonde laid her lips gently on her shoulder. They stopped her from grabbing Emma's hands as she pulled away.

"I'm leaving," Emma was stood only a centimetre away from touching Regina, and she was talking to herself more than the mayor. Convincing herself that she was in fact going away, that soon, she wouldn't be in Storybrooke. They stood for a while, Regina with her hands lying idle in now cold soapy water, Emma stood right behind her, just a breath away. They were waiting for the pin to drop; for one of them to cave in these final moments before it was too late, even though they knew 'too late' had come a long time ago, now they were just waiting for the door to slam shut.

The clock chimed six.

_Slam_.

Emma took a deep breath, her eyes shut tight and her fists balled so tight that her knuckles were white. She looked, half hoping, half silently pleading at the back of Regina's head for a second before turning around and walking away. Tears already starting to fall before she'd even made it out of the kitchen. She almost missed Henry sitting on the stairwell as she passed.

"Kid," Emma started, Henry tried, and failed to hide an incredulous look. Emma turned to face the kitchen, wondering how much of her and Regina's interaction he had seen.

"Kid," Emma repeated as she looked back to him, he had walked down the last couple of steps and was now glaring at his mother's back. "It's not…" Emma faltered, because it actually was.

"You need to fight it," Henry spat, he still wasn't angry at Emma; he was glaring directly at Regina, because this was her fault. She had put a spell on Emma to make her leave, and she'd obviously done something to make Emma think that she…that she _liked_ Regina. "Whatever she did to you, you're stronger than it,"

"Henry," Emma sighed, exasperatedly, she wanted him to understand that Emma was leaving of her own accord, that whatever Regina had done, whatever she'd wanted to do, it wasn't to make Emma love with her, and it wasn't to make Emma leave. Emma had done, and was doing both of those things on her own. "Boston isn't Mars; we'll still see each other,"

"Please, I know it's hard," Henry grabbed her hand, "But good always wins, you can beat the magic she used, you just have to try," Emma shook her head sadly and bent down to look into Henry's eyes.

"There is no magic Henry," Emma wanted to make him understand, but she knew that anything she said would be twisted to make it Regina's fault. If she told him she loved her, Regina would've put a spell on her to make her fall in love. Nothing she could say could make Henry blame her and not Regina. So she just didn't say anything, she pulled her son into a hug and whispered into his hair, "I'll see you soon, ok?" Henry just shook his head furiously and pulled away.

"Fine, just leave," Then he looked towards the kitchen, raising his voice so Regina could hear him, still talking to Emma, "She's evil, she ruins everything." And he stormed upstairs without another word. If Emma had been looking at Regina, she would've seen the mayor flinch slightly as her son's words. But she didn't, she just took a deep breath and made her way out of the house, not looking back for fear of being pulled back into the idyllic kitchen, back into Regina.

It wasn't until the door shut, followed immediately by Henry's bedroom door slamming that Regina finally moved, wincing in pain as she lifted her hands from the water, surveying the deep laceration that the wine glass had made on her left palm when she'd clenched her fist a little too tightly around the fragile glass, causing it to shatter in her hand.

_She ruins everything._


	15. Empty Eyes

**A/N - I feel like this is too farfetched, but I want it to happen on the show so badly!  
Also, the title is a CSI episode, because I watched it while I was writing this.**

* * *

**Chapter 15 – Empty Eyes**

_"Rumpel," She faltered, she could see her mother's disapproving glare even though she couldn't see her mother; all she had to do was say one word. But she didn't have to worry about disappointing her mother anymore. This beautiful, golden skinned man was going to take her somewhere far away, she'd never have to see her mother again._

_ "Regina," The five year olds name wasn't nearly as much of a mouthful as his own. He had watched in silence as Cora had ushered her out to him, made her curtsey even though Rumpelstiltskin could see that the action was painful for the girl, as she had walked away from the pair, to stand in the doorway and watch them, Rumpelstiltskin had taken in this girl, who he already knew so well after such a short time. Regina was Cora's end of the deal she'd made all those years ago, spinning straw into gold in exchange for her firstborn child. Her name gave him power over the girl, and not only that, it allowed him to see all of her. Her past, her future as it was in this moment, her soul, even her own memories. He could see through her eyes as she looked into the mirror; naked apart from the colourful bruises and scars covering her otherwise unmarred skin; bruises on her face, on her stomach, on her inner thighs._

_ "Mama said that you were going to take me away," The hope in her voice made his heart clench. No child should ever be happy at the prospect of leaving her family, though Rumpelstiltskin knew it wasn't her father she was eager to leave; but her mother, and the consequences of making her angry, or in fact of Cora simply being in a bad mood._

_ "I was," Had she not been so practiced in hiding any and all emotional responses, lest they be perceived as weakness, the girl's eyes would have lit up. "But, I'm afraid I cannot," His heart clenched as her face remained impassive, though he saw disappointment in her eyes, he saw Bae falling into a world without magic, alone because Rumpelstiltskin had broken their deal, he had let his son down, and now he was doing the same to Regina._

_ "But…" She tried to protest, Rumpelstiltskin knelt down, so they were almost at eye level even as he glared at the man in the doorway, stood next to Cora, watching the exchange between his little girl and the man he'd begged not to take her from him._

_ "Your father, he loves you very much," Not enough to grow a backbone and take Regina away from Cora long before now, but he loved her all the same, he was just a coward. Rumpelstiltskin suspected that it was Cora that made Henry come to him, to make a deal that made Cora's own null and void and he loathed the man for what he'd done, just as he loathed himself for his own cowardice, "He couldn't bear to be without you, and he made a new deal, so that you could stay here with him," _

_ "And Mama," A minute glimmer of fear, not even a fraction of how much she actually felt, passed through Regina's eyes at the prospect of staying with her mother indefinitely. Her thoughts went to the days, the nights spent repenting her sins to her mother, apologising in ways a child shouldn't ever have to. She shook her head, gripping Rumpelstiltskin's hands with her own, much smaller, more fragile pair and begged, "Please," _

_ "I'm sorry dearie," He truly was, he thought of Bae, of how he'd made a deal and broken it; he'd let his son down and now he was doing the same to Regina. A girl he'd never met before, but knew so well already._

_ "Take me with you," He couldn't break a deal, he wouldn't, so with a sad shake of his head, he turned away, becoming yet another villain in Regina's life, disappearing into a purple cloud, but before he did he silently made a new deal with the little girl he was leaving behind. Regina had to be strong, and in exchange he would find a way to save her._

"What do you want, Gold?" Regina repeated her question, exasperatedly, pulling him from his memories of the little girl he'd grown to love, though he'd never admit it. He had noticed the bruise on her face, and the freshly stitched laceration on her palm immediately, but looking at her now, defensive and almost crying, she looked so much like the girl from his memories that for a second, he'd allow himself to linger in them. Physically, Regina had escaped from her mother, but she carried Cora around with her, he knew, she still whispered cruel words, still punished her daughter even now. He hadn't been able to save her yet.

"I've come to talk about Miss Swan," Regina had always had empty eyes. Ever since he'd met her, emotions made you weak and she couldn't afford to be weak. So she'd hidden them expertly, until Daniel, no one can remove true love from a smile, from their eyes. When Daniel died, her eyes were empty again.

"Oh?" She tried to be the mayor, the evil queen, but all he could see was little Regina.

"She was bidding farewell to Henry today, it would seem" He said simply, he tried to be Rumpelstiltskin, but all he could be was the man who wanted to save her.

He'd seen her eyes fill over the past few months, watching her look at Emma the way she used to look at Daniel. He had finally done it; he'd given her something that Cora couldn't take away; he'd saved Regina from her mother, and from herself. He had assumed the women would go on to be happy for the rest of her lives, as true love so often turned out, but Emma was leaving, and Regina was slowly becoming empty again.

"I know," Regina turned her eyes towards the floor, flicking her eyes between remnants of her mirror, and broken glass. "She's leaving."

"You don't sound happy about that," He was going to tell her, and he was going to pray that she didn't explode at him. He should have told her years ago, but false hope is a terrible thing, and he had no idea if his plan would work, and if she had true love ripped away from her twice, Gold knew she would never survive it.

"I'm happy Rumpel," She had told him that so many times, using a variation of words, but always ending with 'Rumpel' and he'd only ever believed her once. He nodded in a way that told he didn't believe her and gestured towards the sofa, she eyed him suspiciously as he went to sit down. He hadn't mentioned the state of her office, of the state of her when he'd arrived at the house, he'd looked smug, as if he'd won a game she was unaware of, and that never ended well for her.

"No dearie, you're not," It wasn't a question or a statement; it was a prelude to something more, something bigger, a secret he was going to reveal.

"And you're going to fix that?" Talking to Gold always made her feel as if she were at home, because he hadn't changed; his skin may not have the golden shimmer she loved so much, though she would never admit that she did, but he was still Rumpelstiltskin. That shouldn't comfort her, but it did.

"They say, that one's soul is expelled from their body in their very last breath," Regina circled the sofa, staring at Gold as if he'd grown two heads. Of all the things she'd thought he'd say, maybe gloating about Emma leaving, or something about the curse, talking about souls wasn't even on the list. She sat warily as he continued, "They also say, that if someone were there to catch it, say," and he looked at her with that impish grin of his, "With true love's kiss," Her eyes went wide as she realised what he was saying, "Then the soul lives on in their body until they utter the deceased's name."

"The curse," She gasped, "All you wanted in exchange was…"

"His name," like he'd smiled at Snow when she'd given him Emma's name, at Cora when she'd given him Regina's. "The soul dies unless someone else is there to catch it." She shook her head, her mouth opened and closed a few times before she finally formed words.

"You didn't know," Shaking her head more vigorously, "You couldn't know,"

"That you hadn't uttered his name since he passed," He smirked sadly, "No; I couldn't have, could I?" But of course he could, he knew her, her thoughts, how she felt, what she did, what she was going to do. He knew about Emma, about Daniel. She never knew how, she just knew that he did.

"What did you do with him, you bastard?" He voice was shaky, with anger, with fear.

"They also say, your majesty, that you gain your soul upon taking your first breath," _I saved you_ and he stood with her, standing closer as he continued, "Unless, of course, someone gives you one first."

"You…" She gasped, realising now the full extent of what Gold was saying, what he had done.

"I gave a soul without a body, to a body without a soul," In fact, he hadn't, he'd tried to kill the woman Regina wanted dead. If two souls who are not in love were ever in the same body, one soul would die while the other took over. He knew Daniel was stronger than Snow, his will to live, to stay with Regina, stronger than hers to stay with Charming. He hadn't known she was pregnant, and a soul won't fight for a body when one is free to inhabit. "If a woman with child breathes a man's dying breath, maybe because she went to see the man who had it, because she was worried about what an evil queen may have threatened…"

"Emma," It was a whisper, a haunted, broken whisper that made him want to cry.

"Daniel," He corrected.


	16. Deserve To Be Happy

**A/N - Not sure I explained it too well, but it makes sense in my head so fingers crossed...**

* * *

**Chapter 16 – Deserve To Be Happy**

Regina couldn't breathe, Gold's words hung between them as her eyes went wide and she stared at nothing. She heard Gold's foggy voice elaborating, telling Regina what she already knew. Memories of nights with Daniel, of her first night with Emma, how the blonde had known so much of Regina, how Regina had known so much of her. The important moments of her relationship with Emma flickered through her thoughts like an old film, the strange feeling of wanting to reach out to her the night they first met, the butterflies in her stomach when she'd opened the door in her underwear, the want to pull her into a kiss when Emma had mutilated her apple tree. She had been drawn to Emma from the second they met, just like she had been drawn to Daniel.

_"Daniel,"_

Daniel was Emma and Emma was Daniel, they weren't the same person, but they had the same soul; that is what Gold was saying, Emma didn't have Daniel's memories, or thoughts, but she had him. Emma was who Daniel would be if he had been raised in this world, if he had been a woman, if he had fallen in love with Regina much later on in his life. Regina knew, of course, that it is people that fall in love, but it is the soul which harbours true love. People are simply earthly vessels for souls, which have always existed in pairs, and they find each other, whether that takes a year, a decade or a millennia. Daniel had found Regina, and when he'd died, Gold had helped his soul to find her all over again.

"So she's not Daniel, not really," Gold's voice came into focus as her senses returned to her; that wasn't possible. It didn't happen because it couldn't, it was true that a body belonged to a soul and not the other way around, but a person was made for a soul, they fit together like two puzzle pieces. "But she _is_ your true love Regina; she's your happy ending." He sounded so smug, so happy that he'd managed to tell her that he wasn't going to take her away, that he had given her hope only to tear it away again. He had used different words for a different situation, but the consequential feelings were exactly the same.

"True love's kiss," She whispered, her eyes still wide and staring at nothing, "It didn't break the curse," She was saying it to herself just as much as to Gold, she knew it wasn't possible, that no matter how powerful a person was, no one force a soul into a body that was made for a different one, no one can open a door with a key that doesn't fit the lock. The soul was a magic that nobody had ever, nor would ever be able to harness.

"It wouldn't," He thought she was processing, that she believed him, that she knew he'd finally held up his end of the deal that she hadn't known about. She'd been strong for so long and now she could finally be happy. "The curse was made on sacrifice, and it will break in the same vain." _The heart of the thing you love most. _Regina shook her head, her legs threatening to give way as she moved her gaze to look into Gold's eyes. Searching for the reason he was telling her all of this, giving her false hope just to wrench it away from her just as quickly.

"Why are you doing this?" But all Gold heard was, _take me with you_. The begging of a little girl who desperately wanted to get away, to find herself in any life other than the one she was already in. She believed him; she knew that what he was saying was possible. That true love was almost the most powerful magic of all; the soul the only thing more powerful, and if a soul wanted a body, it would find a way to get it. She believed him, but she also believed her mother, Henry, Snow and a million other voices in her head, all telling her that she didn't deserve to be happy; that what Rumpelstiltskin was saying was a cruel joke, a lie, because this was a fairy tale, and in fairy tales, Evil Queens don't get a happily ever after. Emma leaving, Daniel dying, those were her heated iron shoes, and she would have to dance in them until the day she died.

"Regina," Gold stepped towards her, placing his hand gently on her shoulder as tears fell silently down her cheeks. Daniel's soul, its will to be with her, to stay with Regina, was strong enough to change the baby growing inside of Snow.

"Get out," She hissed at him, pulling away roughly. She'd known Gold to be nasty in order to get what he wanted; to kill or maim anyone who stood in his way. But she'd never known him to be cruel, for the sake of being cruel. There had always been a reason, an ending he was aiming for, but she couldn't find one this time. She couldn't see why breaking her already irreparable heart would benefit him in any way.

"Regina," He said again, this time grabbing her shoulders tighter, making her stay in place as he looked straight into her eyes, trying to get her to accept the truth in his words. He didn't want to have to make her, but this, finding her Daniel, and then helping her keep him, giving her Emma, that was his atonement, he had left her with Cora for all those years, he had broken his deal with his son, what he'd done to Belle. All of his memories were his doing bad things to people, sometimes innocent children, other times not at all good people themselves Regina's happiness meant that maybe, well maybe this would be what saved _him_. "Please,"

Her eyes turned fiery, vicious hatred filled them as she stepped towards him so that they were nose to nose, he could see that she was fighting it, the need to be obedient to him, she didn't want to believe because if her mother, and everyone else was right, and she wasn't allowed to be happy, then none of this was her fault. She could blame fate and destiny and all of those other things that she didn't believe in. But she was true to her word, and when Rumpel said please, she did as she was told.

"Get out!" She screamed, she tried her best to quell the tears, to be strong like she'd always had to be. Gold didn't leave though; he pulled her closer to him, wrapping his arms around her protectively, she struggled in his grip, hitting him lightly as Henry had done to her. He just held tighter until she went limp. She leant into him, circling her arms around his waist and hugging him with vigour. She buried her head in the crook of his neck, he felt his bare skin dampen, but she didn't make a sound.

He couldn't be sure when he started to cry, but now his vision was blurred with salty tears and his insides felt like they were being tightened together by a belt. Regina wasn't the only one of them that needed comfort. Neither she nor Gold had ever truly mourned for what had been taken from them. They had bottled it up in anger, fear, revenge, and now that all of that had been stripped away; taken out on her office, Snow, his on Regina, Cora, on everyone that ever dared to cross him. Now that was gone, all that was left was the loss of everything they held dear. Daniel, Emma, Henry, her father, Bae, Belle, that five year old girl from so long ago, and in each other's arms they finally grieved for them.

They stayed like that for a long time, sobbing into each other, both using the other as a proxy for a father that couldn't hold her, and a son he couldn't comfort. The seconds ticked by on the clock that had survived Regina's rampage. It wasn't until the grandfather clock in the hallways struck two o'clock that they had the strength to prise themselves apart. But once they had, Mr Gold was Rumpelstiltskin again and Regina, the Evil Queen. If it weren't for sticky tear tracks running down their cheeks, no one would have ever known.

Gold thought Regina might say something, the way her mouth hung open. He felt he should say something, but all he'd end up doing was blabbering an apology for not telling her sooner which would only make it worse and she'd probably hit him. So they stood staring coolly at one another, until Regina turned on her heel and marched out of her office, she didn't need to say anything for Gold to know he had been dismissed. Gold followed after only a moment, hesitating halfway between the stairs and the door, wondering which path to travel by.

Sighing, he walked up the stairs, heading straight for Regina's bedroom, and through into her en suite, where he found Regina studying her face in the mirror, the bruise was still prominent, and her bare legs and arms were still scattered with tiny, scabbed over cuts from the day before, but the tears wear gone, and her mascara was no longer smudged. As she turned to face him, leaning her hip against the sink, she looked every bit as regal as she always had.

"Rumpel," She smiled at him, that false smile he hated though he smirked back all the same, she stalked towards him, the shock gone, replaced with anger. He had kept this to himself for decades. She understood that he hadn't told her at first, because it hadn't worked, and when Emma arrived because she would never have believed him, but when she and Emma were together, when she was half way to happy, there had been no reason not to tell her.

"I should've told you," He always knew what she was thinking, ever since she was a child, he always knew what she wanted before she asked for it. It made her angry to no end, that this man had so much of her when she had so little of him. She giggled at the thought, because though he knew her thoughts, she was a very clever girl, and over the years she'd mastered the art of hiding them away; so he only knew what she wanted him to. After all, knowledge is power and power endures.

"Yes," She spat venomously, keeping the smile plastered across her face, even though it made her jaw ache, "I suppose I should've told you too," Because now this was her turn to hurt him, to finally beat him in this game of one-upmanship that they'd been playing all her life. This was her turn to win.

"Told me what your Majesty?"

"About Belle, I suppose," The gleaming smile didn't falter but she didn't feel any less like falling apart than she had done before either. She hadn't won; all she'd succeeded in doing was to make sure she took Gold down with her.

"Belle?"


	17. Apples

**Chapter 17 – Apples**

He was too stunned to say anything. Regina knew something about Belle, something that he didn't. How had she managed to keep this from him? She smirked as she took in his stunned, glassy eyes, staring through her rather than at her; his face almost a carbon copy of the expression she'd worn only an hour ago.

"If I don't find her," Regina said, already running through all of the motels and hotels and rest stops there were on the way out of Storybrooke, wondering if she had phone numbers for any of them. "If I can't bring her back to me," She thought of Henry, "To us," her voice wavered as she continued, malice coating her words, "Then you will never find Belle," She hurriedly walked away, out of her room and started down the stairwell.

"Please," He he was stood on the landing and she sighed, annoyed as the word forced her stop to hear his request. If she didn't get going soon, she would never catch Emma before she got out of Storybrooke. Regina would be trapped here, unable to do anything but call her, hoping she'd pick up, "Tell me where she is,"

"Somewhere safe," She said simply, which she was, over the years, Regina had found various loopholes in the situation with Rumpel, and if he wasn't specific enough, she had a lot of leeway with how she answered him. As she turned away, grabbing her phone and speed dialling Emma's cell, Gold came launched himself down to the middle of the stairwell, to Regina.

"Tell me!" He yelled, his voice frantic, his hands holding onto her arms tightly, his fingers pressing painfully into her skin, hard enough to leave bruises but he didn't care; that didn't matter, he just wanted to find Belle. Regina struggled to get free, desperate to get to her car, to get to Emma.

"When I get _my_ happy ending, Rumpel," Regina stopped struggling and glared daggers at him, Gold understood why she was doing this, as revenge, for his repentance, but that didn't make him any less desperate to get the truth from Regina, "Then I'll give you yours,"

"No!" Gold was screaming at her, shaking her as she struggled, "Tell me, you bitch," Regina continued to struggle through Gold's frantic screams and neither one of them realised when he let go. They only realised afterwards, when Regina stumbled backwards onto the banister, grabbing for it but missing. The phone in her hand fell with a horrible clacking sound onto the floor, the sound muffled by her horrified gasp as she realised she wasn't going to catch her footing, she scrambled to grab onto something, anything, even as she was treading on air, Gold grabbed for her, but she tumbled before he could get a hold, she crashed down the stairwell, her body making sickening sounds as she hit the steps hard, she felt her leg twist unnaturally and she was sure the stitches in her hand tore as she put both of them out to break her fall.

"Regina?" She lay there for a moment, spread eagled at the bottom of the stairs, the wind knocked out of her and in pain everywhere, she heard Emma's voice call her name somewhere in the back of her mind. Struggling to catch her breath she saw Gold kneel down beside her, taking pleasure in the flinch of pain that shot from his leg. He held her back as she started to sit up, steadying her. "Are you ok?"

"I," She shook her head, trying to shake the fog from her mind, the action causing a throbbing pain to break out. Her hair felt heavy against her head, like it did when she got out of the shower; tentatively she bought her hand up to the back of her skull, feeling sick as it came into contact with sticky red liquid. "Oh," She stared curiously as her hand, at the red coating her fingers, a sense of déjà vu washed over her as she remembered that night Emma had bitten her. "Emma!" She cried, scrambling to her feet, leaning heavily on Gold as the action made her dizzy.

"Woah," Gold caught her as she was about to fall down, Belle had been momentarily forgotten as he'd seen Regina fall, seen the fear in her eyes as she hit the stairwell with sickening thuds all the way down.

"No," Regina pushed his arms away, grabbing for the wall as she continued to shake her head, blink her eyes to stop the darkening around the edges of her vision. She slowly made her way along to the doorway, practically falling down the few steps, grabbing her car keys and making her way outside. Gold followed her, telling her she couldn't drive, to go to the hospital but she wasn't listening. She had to get to Emma, to Daniel.

"Regina!" Gold yelled as she slumped into the driver's seat of her car, slamming the door, which made her head hurt even more. Blood seeped down her neck, causing her to shiver and the gauze bandage on her hand was slowly turning a sickening dark red. She could hear Gold still yelling but all she could think about was Emma. She turned the keys in the ignition and reversed the car swiftly out of the driveway, thanking whoever was responsible that she didn't hit anything whilst doing so. She looked back through her rear view mirror; Gold was staring after her, unsure of what to do. The look on his face told her that he didn't care whether she got herself killed driving while concussed and bleeding profusely, he cared that she did it before he found out where Belle was.

_She's in the hospital, Rumpel, the basement._ She hoped he knew, he always knew what she was thinking, and she hoped that he found that thought, through all of the memories of Emma and Daniel, the voice screaming at her to _move_, to drive until she found her she truly and dearly hoped that Gold found Belle. Because love may be weakness, but it was a weakness she wouldn't deny anyone. She slammed her foot on the pedal and floored it towards the Storybrooke sign, towards Emma.

* * *

It only took her ten minutes to reach her destination, she slowed to a stop in the middle of the road as she realised Emma wasn't there. She was already out of Storybrooke; there was nothing she could do now. She rummaged for her phone, cursing as she remembered exactly where it had fallen in her foyer, exactly where it still lay now. Her brain was beating the inside of her skull, trying to escape and she felt like she'd faint any minute. She threw her head back against the headrest; the action sent a jolt of pain through her entire body. Looking angrily towards the road, no physical barrier to stop her, she squeezed her eyes shut and bit her lip hard.

_Bad things happen when people try to leave._

"Fuck it," She gripped the steering wheel tighter, ignoring the pain in her hand, the blood running down her wrist. This was her curse, her magic, if she wanted to leave, she would bloody well leave. Taking the deepest breath she could, Regina slammed her foot down on the pedal, accelerating the car so fast that she felt herself bodily shoved as far back in her seat as was possible. She kept her eyes closed as she waited for the 'something bad' to happen. She tentatively lifted one eyelid when, after a few seconds, it didn't come. Her eyes widen in shock and happiness as she saw the highway speeding past her windshield.

She had to stop herself from throwing her hands in the air, saying a silent thank you to something she didn't believe in. She slowed the car, so that she could take in the scarce buildings she drove past on her way further out of town. She noticed the sun starting to climb down from the sky, glancing at her clock she realised just how late it was, it felt like she'd only been driving a few minutes, but the clock told her she'd been in the car for hours.

She hit the brakes hard when she noticed a familiar, hideously yellow, car parked in the car park of a motel. The motel was almost completely covered by ivory, and large hedges obscured the view of the car park, if it hadn't have been for the entrance, Regina would have driven right past it; she glanced up and down the stretch of highway to make sure there was not traffic, then reversed and quickly turned into the car park.

She moved as fast as she could from the car to the reception area, which wasn't all that fast considering every step jostled her head, which made the throbbing worsen. When she got to the little reception building, a young man was sitting there, his feet on the desk as he flicked through what looked like a porn magazine, the wallpaper was coming away from the walls, there were nasty looking stains dotted across the carpet and the desk looked like it hadn't been dusted since, ever. Regina would have wondered why Emma chose such an unhygienic dive had she not been so focused on finding her. Regina would actually have passed out from the pain halfway across the parking lot had she not been so focused on her.

She knocked her hand on the desk after a while, when it became apparent that the young man was engrossed in what he as reading, or rather leering at. He jumped up, throwing the magazine hastily under the desk and standing to attention. He relaxed when he saw it was Regina.

"Bloody 'ell lady, you scared the crap outta me," He shook his head, Regina tried to place the accent, but couldn't, "Thought you were me ma," leaning against the desk as he took her in, leering at her like he had been the magazine. Apparently, even sick with pain, bleeding from various different locations and with a purple, black and yellow bruise covering half her face, Regina was still attractive.

"Which room is Emma Swan staying in?" He looked confused, "The blonde, with the yellow bug," Regina clarified, gesturing out towards the car park. He made an 'O' shape with his mouth and nodded, smirking as he remembered the hot blonde from a few hours ago, looking down at the book on the desk.

"She expectin' you Miss," He looked up at her expectantly, grabbing a set of keys from a box out of Regina's sight. Regina nodded, ignoring the silent request for her name. The man sighed and tossed the keys at Regina, gesturing with his hands as he gave her directions to Emma's room. "Room 203, that's straight out of here, turn left, up the stairs, third door along." Regina didn't thank him as she hurried out of the reception area and up the stairs.

"I told you already, I don't need any…" Emma stopped dead and her eyes went wide when she saw that it was a bruised and battered mayor standing in front of her rather than the obnoxious little shit at the reception desk. "Regina?" She couldn't quite believe what she was seeing; she reached out to touch Regina's face, pulling back at the last minute when she noticed blood running down Regina's neck, "What happened? Are you ok, where's that blood coming…"

"Apples," Regina cut Emma off loudly, and then much quieter, "Apples," Emma frowned even more, wondering if Regina was concussed. Her eyes widened as a distant memory of a phone call came to her. _Say apples._

Regina had said apples. A broad grin broke out on Emma's face as she grabbed Regina's waist, pulling the mayor towards her to kiss her hard on the mouth. She felt hot tears stream down her face as Regina clung desperately to her shoulders, sobs wracking her body as they kissed

"Apples," Regina pulled away, dropping short kisses onto Emma's lips as she repeated the word like a mantra. Emma laughed, pulling Regina further into her as she guided them back into her motel room. "Apples, apples, apples,"


	18. Stay Like This Forever

**A/N - Please don't hate me...**

* * *

**Chapter 18 – Stay Like This Forever**

Emma snuggled her face further into the crook of Regina's neck, trailing her hand languidly up and down the mayor's bare flesh, revelling in the feeling of being on top of the naked mayor, legs intertwined, hearts beating in tandem against each other. She smirked at the corniness of her thoughts as she wondered if this was what home felt like. She peppered small kisses on Regina's neck, gripping her left hand tighter around Regina's, afraid that if she let go she'd wake up from this wonderful dream.

"God, I missed you," Emma whispered almost inaudibly, needing to saying but not wanting to break the spell they'd been under since the door to her motel room slammed shut. Regina's content chuckle and the lips pressing against her head made a warmth well up inside of her. She shifted her head so that it was hovering over Regina's, pressing her lips firmly against hers, simply because she could. Regina mewled contently when Emma pulled away just far enough to technically not be kissing Regina anymore, though their lips still touched every time they moved even half a millimetre.

"I missed you too," Regina whispered; her lips brushing against Emma's as she first noticed the absence of the cruel voice in her head telling her Emma didn't love her was gone. Tears of joy sprang to her eyes when she heard it replaced with another, much kinder voice telling her something much more true. _She loves you. _

Emma sighed happily, snuggling back down into Regina and lifting their intertwined hands to kiss the back of Regina's gently, she rested their hands against Regina's chest, letting the rhythmic beating of Regina's heart lull her into half sleep. She lost herself in the sound of Regina breathing, letting her mind drift to fantasies of her family, of being woken up by an excited Henry on Christmas morning, of Regina birthdays and breakfasts and holidays and all of the other things that she'd heard families did. She grinned sleepily as her thoughts turned to her standing under Regina's apple tree, wringing her hands nervously as she turned to see Henry in a little tuxedo, walking Regina towards her.

"You'd look so strange in white," Emma mumbled half incoherently, Regina raised her eyebrows, smirking as she jostled Emma a little, but it was no good, the blonde was happy where she was, halfway between reality and a dream. She wasn't going to open her eyes anytime soon.

"Why am I in white, dear?" Regina asked, scooting down and turning slightly so that the two of them were lying on their sides, facing each other. Emma's lips turned up in a tired, happy grin as she clutched Regina tightly.

"Because you're the bride," She mumbled, pushing her forehead down onto Regina's shoulder. Regina gasped at her words, her arms coming around Emma's waist more fully as she imagined a wedding dress, one that was much more suited to her than the one her mother had picked out all those years ago, imagined Henry practically pulling her down the aisle towards Emma, just as desperate as she was to have his two mothers joined together forever.

"And who is the groom?" Regina asked, grinning slyly as she watched Emma's drowsy expression turn into a frown, she felt Emma grip her tighter, more possessively and it made Regina feel safe, wanted, like she was finally home.

"I am," Emma said, as if she couldn't find any other plausible answer in the world. Regina knew that Emma couldn't find one because there wasn't one; Regina was Emma's, wholly and completely. She smiled again and nodded though Emma couldn't see it, unconsciously grazing her fingers over Emma's ring finger.

"You are," She confirmed breathily, and she snuggled closer to Emma, their noses touching; breathe mingling in the gap between their mouths, which was only about an inch but felt like miles to Regina. She bought their still intertwined hands up to rest in the space between her heat and Emma's, closing her eyes as she too began to drift off to sleep, quite happy to stay like this forever.

"I love you Emma," She whispered, needing the blonde to hear it one last time before she fell asleep. Emma's eyes opened slightly, the use of her name without the throes of passion pushing it from Regina's mouth awoke her slightly. She beamed, twining her legs through Regina's, closing the gap between them even more; pulling Regina into her as much as humanly possible, needing to feel every inch of Regina mingle with every inch of her.

"I love you too, Mayor Mills," Regina frowned, pulling back to look at Emma, whose eyes had promptly fallen shut again, her mouth still upturned in that small grin.

"So you're the one using formalities now?" Regina smirked, closing her eyes and enjoying the feel of Emma's breasts brushing against hers as Emma shrugged, or tried to; it was a very lacklustre attempt due to physical exhaustion and emotional contentment.

"Looks that way Mayor Mills," Something about her voice as she said her name, it was off, like it wasn't quite Emma. Regina was about to say something else when she suddenly felt like she'd been punched in the chest. She clasped her hand, and Emma's by proxy, over her heat and widened her eyes at the nothing that she found there.

"Your heart, it's not!" Emma was suddenly wide awake, and the invisible punch hit Regina square in the chest again pushing her forcefully across the bed, making her notice the throbbing in her head again. "Mayor Mills!" Emma yelled, in that voice that was so familiar, but wasn't Emma. She started to cry as the punches came in quicker succession, and she felt Emma's grip on her hand loosen.

"Emma!" She screamed, desperately trying to cling to her, keep Emma with her, Emma stood, pulling Regina up with her, and suddenly they were back on either side of the motel room door, they were clothed again and Regina felt ready to pass out from the pain throbbing through her head, and everywhere else.

"What happened? Are you ok, where's that blood coming…" She heard Emma ask, though her lips didn't move until much later, like and old film where the sound is always a second out of sync with the picture. She clutched her chest again when the invisible punch hit harder and the voice that wasn't Emma's yelled 'Mayor Mills' at her again as she heard herself cut Emma off.

"Apples," A sense of déjà vu came over her, a memory of a dream as she felt Emma's lips on hers; felt them moving backwards into the room, even as she stood on the opposite side of the motel room threshold to Emma.

"Apples," "Mayor Mills,"

An image of a small room; blurry faces that she knew but couldn't place hovering over her, the sound of her name being called, a hand much smaller than Emma's gripping hers, a puddle of something pooling underneath her head and a mechanical scream slicing at her brain like a knife.

Then she was back in the out of sync film, feeling Emma starting to undress her, seeing the broad grin Emma had adorned when she'd heard her say apples. Shivering as Emma's hands ghosted across her breasts.

Back to the room and Regina wanted to scream, she could feel Emma's hand still gripping hers, though it was much smaller, less calloused, like a child's hand. She saw the blurry faces gain contours, voices sounding less like she was hearing them from underwater, that god awful scream beginning to break up into less nauseating beeping.

"Apples," She heard herself say it, saw Emma drop to her knees as she kissed her way up Regina's thigh, heard a string of expletives pour from Emma's mouth as she drove her tongue inside of her.

"Mayor Mills," It was Ursula, Megan in this world, she was calling her, was she the one punching her in the chest? Why would she do that? She heard Emma laughing back in the motel room as Regina kissed that ticklish spot below her ear. Saw herself laying at the bottom of the stairs, Henry hovering over her, tears streaming down her face as Ruby's voice yelled for an ambulance somewhere out of sight. What was wrong? Who was hurt?

"Apples," She whispered, trying to call out to Emma as the pounding in her head coming back full force, along with a thousand other aches. She heard sirens, a police car? No, Emma was the only one who drove it, and Megan wasn't a policewoman, she was…what did she do? Something at the hospital, Regina thought. She heard bleeping, a monitor, and tried to whisper again, "Apples," Then she couldn't see Henry, or Ruby, or Megan/Ursula, or Emma, and for a brief second that piercing, mechanical scream ran through her head again before she felt everything shut down.


	19. Evil Queens Don't Get a Happily Ever

**A/N - I say this is the end, but I might write an epilogue.**

* * *

**Chapter 19 – Evil Queens Don't Get a Happily Ever After**

"Where is she?" Emma rushed towards Ruby and Henry, who were pacing up and down a small part of the corridor. Henry looked up at the sound of Emma's voice, relief flooding his tear stained features as he launched himself at her. Emma wrapped her arms tightly around him as he sobbed desperately into her stomach. She looked at Ruby, whose white shirt was covered in blood, mascara running down her face as she bit her nails, still pacing. "Where is she?" Ruby just shook her head, fresh tears springing to her eyes as she tried to get the words out.

"Ruby," Emma asked again, even more urgent as her eyes fixated on the reddish-brown stain marring the waitress's shirt. "Where is she?"

"She," Ruby faltered, looking at the floor. Emma shook her head, slowly at first, but the shake soon turned vigorous, blonde locks flipping around her face as she refused to accept what Ruby couldn't say.

"Emma," Henry's sob bought her gaze from Regina's blood to the little boy clinging to her, he had lifted his eyes to look at Emma, fierce determination shone in his eyes, reminding Emma so much of Regina that she almost fell to the floor. "You have to save her, you have to save my mummy," Henry's voice, the pain she could hear in his words, almost broke Emma completely. She moved to shake her head, pausing when she turned her head towards the double doors she hadn't noticed before; to a white sheet that had been gently laid over an ashen white face. Emma fell to the floor.

* * *

_"Gina?" Emma frowned as she answered her phone, bringing it to her ear. Her frown deepened when all she heard on the other end of the line were far away voices. _

_ "Tell me," She thought it was Gold, he sounded pissed, Emma raised her voice, calling for Regina again, all she got from the mayor was a reply for Gold._

_ "When I get my happy ending, Rumpel, then I'll give you yours," She sounded like she was going to start crying. Had she just called Mr Gold, Rumpel? No, of course she hadn't, her voice had been a lot quieter than Gold's, more muffled and Emma could barely make it out, she'd just heard static or something distorting Regina's voice._

"_Regina?" She called a little louder, wondering if Regina had meant to call her or if she'd just sat on her phone, or pressed the wrong button or something. She flinched away from the phone away when she heard Gold's screeching. _

_ "No!" Gold was screaming at her, shaking her as she struggled, "Tell me, you bitch," She heard a gasp, then a clacking sound as something hit the floor; the sound of Regina's scream was further away so she assumed the mayor had dropped the phone. Regina had screamed._

_ "Gina!" Emma called frantically as she heard a series of sickening thudding sounds. "Gina, are you ok? Can you hear me?" A final, louder thud came over the phone line and then everything was silent. She listened intently to the sound of static, hoping to hear Regina stand, curse at Gold, anything. What the fuck had just happened?_

_ "Regina?" Gold's voice, closer to the phone, he sounded worried, which wasn't something she usually heard in his voice, she heard rustling; maybe Gold was helping the mayor up? Maybe she was okay? Emma could tell in her gut that this wasn't the case, and she grabbed the keys to her bug, keeping the phone tightly against her ear as she made her way out of the motel room._

_ "Gold," Emma let out a breath she hadn't realised she was holding as she fumbled with her seatbelt, keys already in the ignition, she listened to Gold sigh in relief, calling out to the pair that were, it seemed, unaware that Emma was on the phone._

_ "Guys? Is Regina ok?" Emma shut up when she heard Gold talk again._

_ "Where is she Regina?" Where was who, and why the fuck did it matter? He should be phoning an ambulance or something. She seethed and began to yell out to Gold again when she heard a mumbled, almost incoherent response._

_ "Basement, hospital," Regina sounded woozy, like she wasn't quite sure where she was, Emma slammed her floor harder onto the accelerator, desperate to get back to Storybrooke. "Rumpel," She heard Regina moan and then footsteps, and a cane hitting the floor, getting further and further away._

_ "Don't you dare!" Emma yelled at Gold, "Don't fucking leave her! What the fuck are you doing!" She pushed herself forward in the driver's seat, as if the momentum would make the car go any faster. "Regina? Gina, can you hear me?" She drove into a bad reception area and fooled herself into hearing Regina's breathing in the static. Continuing to yell, Emma calculated in her head how long it had taken to get from Storybrooke to the motel, and thus how long it would take her to get back._

_ "Gina, I'm going to hang up," Emma said loudly, not wanting to leave Regina on her own but knowing she had to get an ambulance to her as soon as possible, "I'm going to call an ambulance ok? I'm driving back now, you won't be alone for long." She took the phone away from her ear, her thumb hovering over the 'end call' button, but something compelled her to bring the phone back up to her ear._

_ "Gina," She sobbed, blinking to stop tears blurring her eyes, "I love you," She whispered, pulling the phone away again, hesitating still, not wanting to hang up. Not wanting to leave Regina alone, not wanting her to be alone if she…_

_ "Mom!" Emma's eyes went wide and she bought the phone back up to her ear, Henry's voice was panicked as she heard him running closer to the phone, closer to Regina. "Mom!" he yelled again, and she heard more rustling, Henry was moving Regina?_

_ "Oh my God," Ruby's voice, Emma thanked whoever was 'up there' when she heard Ruby shouting down another phone. "I need an ambulance, the mayor's house, she, I don't know, she fell down the stairs?" Emma gasped, Gold had pushed Regina down the stairs? "She's bleeding, oh God, her head, she's, there's a lot of blood," Emma bit her tongue, trying to will away the images of Regina surrounded by a pool of her own blood, she heard Ruby hit the floor hard, kneeling maybe? "I think her leg," another clatter, and sobbing, from Henry and Ruby, she blinked away more tears when she heard Ruby whisper words she couldn't make out in a comforting tone._

_ Emma tried to call out again, but she couldn't make words come out of her mouth, she just listened as the sound of sirens filled the phone, rushing feet pounding the floor around it, a voice yelling for Mayor Mills, a few moments of rustling, movement, then the same voice yelled for the defibrillators. Emma stopped breathing._

_ "Charging, clear," _Kathunk, _Regina's chest lifted from the floor and flopped back down again, "Mayor Mills?"_

_ "Charge again, clear?" _Kathunk_, "Get her on the gurney, clear," _Kathunk,_ Emma tasted blood but didn't release her teeth's grip on her lower lip. She prayed; something she had never done before, to whoever was listening for Regina to live. "Get her in the ambulance," Sirens again, masking that nauseating sound of Regina's body hitting the gurney again and again._

_ "Mayor Mills?" A mechanical beeping permeated the air, and Emma inhaled sharply, that meant Regina's heart was beating again right? That meant she was going to be ok._

_ "Apples," It was a slurred mumble that Emma barely made out, and it took several seconds between the beeping and the mechanical screech that muffled the sounds of Ruby and Henry both screaming 'Mom' and 'Gina' respectively, for the one, barely coherent word to register with the blonde._

_ She said apples. Emma eased up on the steering wheel, sobs wracking her body as she pulled up on the side of the highway, she opened the door, sliding out of the car on shaky legs. Falling to her knees as she tried to stand on her own, she braced herself on her hands as bile rose swiftly from her stomach, and Regina's strained word ran around and around in her head._

_ Apples._

* * *

"Emma," Henry's voice was more urgent as he tugged on her arm, she allowed Ruby to rush over and help her to stand, never taking her eyes off of the white sheet on the bed. "You have to save her!"

"Kid," She whispered, not really sure what she was going to say, not that it mattered much at all because Henry wasn't listening, he had pushed the door open, giving Emma a fuller view of the bed, the unplugged heart monitor, the stench of antiseptic and, Emma shook the though away. She couldn't find the energy to pull away from Henry as he dragged her into the room, stopping only when she was standing next to the bed.

"True love's kiss is the most powerful magic of all Emma," Henry pushed her closer to the bed, Emma let him, letting the denial that his words were borne from seep into her. "You're the saviour; you're the one that brings back the happy endings."

"Henry," Emma didn't get to finish, Henry hit her, lightly on the back.

"No!" He screamed, "You bring her back Emma, true love can bring her back!" He had seen the way they were wrapped around each other in their kitchen that morning; before Emma left. He couldn't accept it then, but this was it, a last ditch attempt to keep his mummy with him.

"Henry," Emma started to protest again, but the hope in the boys eyes, and the need to touch Regina one last time made Emma turn back to Regina, made her lift the white sheet away from her face. She closed her eyes as she looked at the mayor, her skin too pale, making the fading bruise on her jaw look brand new; her lips blue underneath smudged red lipstick. She ran her shaky hands through blood-wet hair, watched tears drop onto Regina's ashen forehead and brought their lips together one last time. She felt Henry cling to her stomach and she put one arm around him, suddenly kissing Regina again and again, waiting for something, anything to happen. Henry cried in her arms and Emma continued to kiss his mother, desperate for what Henry was saying to be true. Even if he _was _right, somehow Henry just knew it wouldn't work; he knew somewhere in the rational part of his mind that Evil Queens don't get a happily ever after.

But he was wrong of course, this wasn't a fairy tale, and Regina wasn't the Evil Queen; maybe they'd get a happy ending after all.

* * *

The End


	20. Epilogue Moments

**Epilogue - Moments**

Our lives are made up of a series of moments.

Those moments add together to make the years, months, days, or sometimes mere hours of our entire lives. Some people have enough moments to last a whole century and some only have the moments in a single breath. These moments are who we are; they build us from a bunch of cells clumped together into a living, breathing human being; into a soul.

Sometimes those moments are nearly insignificant, happening quickly like moments do, and changing almost nothing.

"_Morning," Regina smiled and Emma looked up from her coffee to see Regina standing by her stool against the counter._

"_Hi," Emma reciprocated the smile; Regina nodded and grabbed a coffee from Ruby, muttering a thank you; smiling once more at Emma before making her way back out of the diner._

* * *

Sometimes the moments are imperative to the paths we find ourselves on, the moments where one of two, three or a hundred things can happen, moments that change absolutely everything.

"_Why won't you kiss me?" Emma interrupted her. Regina closed her eyes and bit her lip before picking up her pen to resume her work._

"_What do you mean?" She didn't look up as Emma circled the desk to stand in front of her, "I kiss you all the time."_

* * *

Sometimes they're in our dreams, our minds telling us things that we won't allow ourselves to know whilst we're awake.

"_Regina!" Emma moaned, gripping Regina's hair tighter and urging her face further into her crotch. Regina's eyes went wide even as she continued to suck hard on Emma's clit; _Emma's _clit. She ripped her mouth away and sat straight up in bed, wide eyed and panting into a pitch black room, alone._

* * *

Sometimes they're in our memories, playing over and over in your mind as you wonder 'what if?' What if that moment had ended differently, would it have changed anything?

_ "Take me with you," Regina pleaded to a man she'd only just met. Begging him to take her away from Cora, who would only ever hurt her and from Henry, who was too cowardly to save her. The man didn't take her away; he turned from her and disappeared into a cloud of purple smoke, leaving her to her mother's punishment, to a life that would only ever take from her._

* * *

Sometimes you get to have them over and over again, with a thousand different variations, but always fundamentally the same.

"_Miss Swan," Regina smiled slightly when she opened the door to find Emma standing on her doorstep. She schooled her expression to one more suited for looking at the woman she threw out of her home not two days ago. Emma said nothing as she lunged at Regina, attacking her neck with her lips and pushing the mayor back inside._

* * *

Sometimes you'll only ever have them once; these are the moments that you are apt to forget, and the moments you are most likely to remember.

"_Gigi," Regina snapped her head towards Emma, whose head was buried in the fridge, "Don't you have any peanut butter?"_

"_What did you just call me?" Regina scowled, moving towards a cupboard to get Emma her spread. Emma poked her head around to fridge door and looked at her sheepishly._

"_Just, trying something new," Emma smiled as Regina proffered her to jar of peanut butter and closed the fridge. "Won't happen again," Regina stopped scowling as she watched Emma prepare a midnight sandwich._

* * *

Sometimes moments last mere seconds, they're there and then they're gone, and you're in the next moment of your life without even realising it.

_Regina sighed contentedly as she let Emma's arm move around her shoulder, pulling them closer together on the sofa. She rested her head against Emma's shoulder, both intently watching _Notting Hill_._

* * *

Other times, they still last the same amount of time; shorter, even, but they feel like a lifetime, and that can be both wonderful and terrible at the same time,

"_You're Henry's birth mother?"_

* * *

Most people have enough moments to be able to say they lived a long, mostly happy life. _Emma, Henry. _Sometimes that's not fair, _Mr Gold, Cora._ And some people have their moments stolen from them, leaving people who loved them to continue having moments without them.

_The phone in her hand fell with a horrible clacking sound onto the floor, the sound muffled by her horrified gasp as she realised she wasn't going to catch her footing, she scrambled to grab onto something, anything, even as she was treading on air, Gold grabbed for her, but she tumbled before he could get a hold, she crashed down the stairwell, her body making sickening sounds as she hit the steps hard, she felt her leg twist unnaturally and she was sure the stitches in her hand tore as she put both of them out to break her fall._

Sometimes, moments that have been stolen can be given back, by magic, a most powerful magic. By True Love and its kiss.

Sometimes, people who deserve to be happy, get to be ecstatic.

* * *

Regina Mills

1977 – 2012

_She deserved to be happy_


End file.
